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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 759528" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Hi there and big hugs. It is incredibly hard to watch kids suffer when we know they can do better. I am wondering if you have ever received help for yourself. Not for them because their lives are their own, but for you. It is hard to figure it out alone with no help in my opinion. We tried and tried, afraid to see a therapist or talk to others at Nar Anon. Then we forced it and for us these really helped. The Bank Of Dad and Mom is finally closed for good. And we can't be talked to in a rude way. We will not tolerate it.</p><p></p><p>Now I don't know if you have other children that function well. I can not imagine my only kids struggling. However, we lost a wonderful sunny brilliant boy to cancer and lost our firstborn to her own poor choices and now she is homeless and we are out of touch. At times I still cry for both of them. But I can now pick myself up and move on these days. We practice Radical Acceptance too. It is so helpful!</p><p></p><p>I hope you find what works best for you. Your sons, like my daughter, can not be forced to live well or to be nice to us for how hard we try or to stop asking for things. We do have the power to say no. We have the power to insist that they treat us with civility or else end any conversation. For us learning boundaries was imperitive.</p><p></p><p>May you find peace and help yourself <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="❤️" title="Red heart :heart:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/2764.png" data-shortname=":heart:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 759528, member: 23706"] Hi there and big hugs. It is incredibly hard to watch kids suffer when we know they can do better. I am wondering if you have ever received help for yourself. Not for them because their lives are their own, but for you. It is hard to figure it out alone with no help in my opinion. We tried and tried, afraid to see a therapist or talk to others at Nar Anon. Then we forced it and for us these really helped. The Bank Of Dad and Mom is finally closed for good. And we can't be talked to in a rude way. We will not tolerate it. Now I don't know if you have other children that function well. I can not imagine my only kids struggling. However, we lost a wonderful sunny brilliant boy to cancer and lost our firstborn to her own poor choices and now she is homeless and we are out of touch. At times I still cry for both of them. But I can now pick myself up and move on these days. We practice Radical Acceptance too. It is so helpful! I hope you find what works best for you. Your sons, like my daughter, can not be forced to live well or to be nice to us for how hard we try or to stop asking for things. We do have the power to say no. We have the power to insist that they treat us with civility or else end any conversation. For us learning boundaries was imperitive. May you find peace and help yourself ❤️ [/QUOTE]
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