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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 171828" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Interesting news item, Heather. And while a part of me admires the resourcefulness of the boy, I am also horrified at the mother apparently unconcerned by the sudden appearance of a police car, twice, driven by her 13 year old son (surely not legally allowed to drive at 13? I know some states allow young drivers, but 13?).</p><p></p><p>What I would wish for out of this - that someone, maybe in the police force, would take this young boy under their wing and teach him what is right and what is wrong, as well as give him a sense of direction and a channel for that ingenuity of his.</p><p></p><p>As for your own parenting methods - if you feel they're working for you, guided by your measures, then that is good. At least you are thinking about it, mulling it over, which is more than a lot of parents seem to do (in the big bad world, I mean - not here).</p><p></p><p>However, I am one of those parents who let my kids sleep over with their partners, once it became obvious that they were going to do it anyway. But I DID make sure they were protected medically and they also got a lecture on sexual responsibility on a lot of other levels as well. They certainly didn't have their first sexual encounter sanctioned by us under this roof, or even enabled. But it's unfortunately considered child abuse to fit your daughter with a chastity belt. At least difficult child 1 is doing the honourable thing by his girlfriend. She does sleep over here, but I have always provided guests with their own bed (and room).</p><p></p><p>It's not an easy call for anyone to have to make and I have been lectured to about it by a couple of other parents I know (notably, not by anyone with children as old as mine yet; and as their children finally were old enough to have the same problems, these parents mysteriously stopped lecturing me!).</p><p>However, although it was a choice not made lightly, I look back and still feel we made the right decision. Of course I would have preferred they wait, but I did the best I could in teaching them what was right and had to accept that they made their own decisions based on a combination of our parental teaching and their own social influences. They were legally old enough, so there really weren't many options that wouldn't have also driven them into more dangerous territory.</p><p>My views on this have had to change a great deal. In fact, my views on a lot of things have had to change a great deal, whenever I have been confronted with the gap between how I want things to be, and how things actually are.</p><p></p><p>I liked your analogy of the few parents who come here who seem to think they can force their parenting style to work - "square peg, round hole parenting", you called it. Very apt. And you're right - such parents do not last on this site. I think those of us who DO stick around have definitely learnt that lesson thoroughly.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 171828, member: 1991"] Interesting news item, Heather. And while a part of me admires the resourcefulness of the boy, I am also horrified at the mother apparently unconcerned by the sudden appearance of a police car, twice, driven by her 13 year old son (surely not legally allowed to drive at 13? I know some states allow young drivers, but 13?). What I would wish for out of this - that someone, maybe in the police force, would take this young boy under their wing and teach him what is right and what is wrong, as well as give him a sense of direction and a channel for that ingenuity of his. As for your own parenting methods - if you feel they're working for you, guided by your measures, then that is good. At least you are thinking about it, mulling it over, which is more than a lot of parents seem to do (in the big bad world, I mean - not here). However, I am one of those parents who let my kids sleep over with their partners, once it became obvious that they were going to do it anyway. But I DID make sure they were protected medically and they also got a lecture on sexual responsibility on a lot of other levels as well. They certainly didn't have their first sexual encounter sanctioned by us under this roof, or even enabled. But it's unfortunately considered child abuse to fit your daughter with a chastity belt. At least difficult child 1 is doing the honourable thing by his girlfriend. She does sleep over here, but I have always provided guests with their own bed (and room). It's not an easy call for anyone to have to make and I have been lectured to about it by a couple of other parents I know (notably, not by anyone with children as old as mine yet; and as their children finally were old enough to have the same problems, these parents mysteriously stopped lecturing me!). However, although it was a choice not made lightly, I look back and still feel we made the right decision. Of course I would have preferred they wait, but I did the best I could in teaching them what was right and had to accept that they made their own decisions based on a combination of our parental teaching and their own social influences. They were legally old enough, so there really weren't many options that wouldn't have also driven them into more dangerous territory. My views on this have had to change a great deal. In fact, my views on a lot of things have had to change a great deal, whenever I have been confronted with the gap between how I want things to be, and how things actually are. I liked your analogy of the few parents who come here who seem to think they can force their parenting style to work - "square peg, round hole parenting", you called it. Very apt. And you're right - such parents do not last on this site. I think those of us who DO stick around have definitely learnt that lesson thoroughly. Marg [/QUOTE]
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