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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 172031" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Kids who are different defy categories of parenting styles and make you mix and match. You can not parent a child on the autism spectrum in any one way. You have to be flexible and see w hat works as these kids think differently from other kids. Hub and I never tried "you respect us or else." We never hit our kids either (I feel that is bad parenting and won't hesitate to say so). When son said "I hate you" we didn't take it personally. We kind of did the baskets before "The Explosive Child" came out, and our son became a more compliant child as he got help. He is almost fifteen, but he is still parented to his individual needs. Our daughter who took drugs was obviously troubled, but not autistic. By fifteen she was well into rebellion mode. We parented her differently than our son, but nothing worked because the drugs were more powerful than us. At eighteen we played hardball and made her leave--that worked for her. We knew she could land on her feet as, underneath the drug use, was a strong young lady who had ALWAYS kept a job and was a survivor. Our instincts proved correct.</p><p>There is not only no one way to parent (nor one parenting style you need to stick to all the time) but there is no one way to parent all your children. No matter what, we could never send our autistic son out on his own at 18. Ever. </p><p>Each child is different. The only place I draw the line for all kids is verbal abuse (not that I've never done it, but I'm quick to apologize) and physical abuse (I feel that this just adds to the problem). Just my extra .02 <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 172031, member: 1550"] Kids who are different defy categories of parenting styles and make you mix and match. You can not parent a child on the autism spectrum in any one way. You have to be flexible and see w hat works as these kids think differently from other kids. Hub and I never tried "you respect us or else." We never hit our kids either (I feel that is bad parenting and won't hesitate to say so). When son said "I hate you" we didn't take it personally. We kind of did the baskets before "The Explosive Child" came out, and our son became a more compliant child as he got help. He is almost fifteen, but he is still parented to his individual needs. Our daughter who took drugs was obviously troubled, but not autistic. By fifteen she was well into rebellion mode. We parented her differently than our son, but nothing worked because the drugs were more powerful than us. At eighteen we played hardball and made her leave--that worked for her. We knew she could land on her feet as, underneath the drug use, was a strong young lady who had ALWAYS kept a job and was a survivor. Our instincts proved correct. There is not only no one way to parent (nor one parenting style you need to stick to all the time) but there is no one way to parent all your children. No matter what, we could never send our autistic son out on his own at 18. Ever. Each child is different. The only place I draw the line for all kids is verbal abuse (not that I've never done it, but I'm quick to apologize) and physical abuse (I feel that this just adds to the problem). Just my extra .02 :) [/QUOTE]
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