Recoveringenabler, Thank you again for your wonderful insight and all the postings. I will read and study them tonight. I am an empath so I too absorb the deficiencies of others. I have haulted somewhat my daughter's belligerence towards me, it took me a few years but now I am working on her lies. I have known for years that people will treat us how we allow them to treat us..I am really trying to work on this with my daughter.
HALO527, I hear you about having the best year of your life when your son was gone. One of the best and most peaceful years I ever had was when my daughter was overseas in college. I then realized how draining and full of constant drama she was. The first year she was gone I had the most prosperious year, my husband and I had a smile on our faces constantly and were laughing. As soon as she came back it was like our lives had a gigantic wet blanket on top of us.
Littlelostboy, Thank you so much for reminding me that I was/am a good parent. I so appreciate your input.
SWOT, Thank you for your views. I will not do more than I can tolerate. Thank you for reminding me to stay strong.
Update. Spent the day with my daughter. I made a great breakfast, organic food and teas, she barely ate and stared into space. I ate and then afterwards I had a chat with her. I did not scream or lose my tone or say anything mean. I went into meditation before hand, I want my words to move her ahead not harm her. She thinks I am going to sell the house she is living in and give her 1/2 of the money. I told her she is a bad renter and I plan to rent the house to a renter that will pay bills. She was planning on just taking the house money and living off of that for a little while, well my plan completely screwed her plan up.. I told her that I am making many changes and moving in a totally different direction. I kept my tone in check and I was as kind as humanly possible. We ran some errands. She did help me pick out Valentine decorations and I enjoyed my time doing that with her, I felt some harmony. Then went to my house and cooked some organic vegetables. She started to get weird, on her phone constantly and told me she has to leave. As she left I hugged and kissed her and told her I love her but things were going to be very different from now on. She looked at me and said she knew.
When I was with her my heart was breaking into a million pieces. Her face looked so sad. She was trying to be nice. I was crying inside because I want there to be peace between us so bad and I am ever wore out with her bad choices..I need to grow a set of she balls.
I wanted to take my daughter's financial burdens and tell her not to worry but HELL NO I will not do that. My heart was screaming for me to do that but how stupid that would be, the point is for her to suffer hard enough from her own stupid mistakes so she can STOP them and we all can get on this good path. I think when she gives me love in spurts, I am so lonesome for her love that it fills something inside of me. I want to walk in love and harmony on this journey with my daughter. There is no one that can replace her and I know some of you will say she is not capable of walking in harmony with me. I crave that so much..I have to work on being satified with so little. I feel so awful that she is hurting so much and I feel so awful that she chooses to be such a difficult person. Thank you all for your compassion and lessons. Such a hard, hard journey.
I had planned to talk about more things with her financial stuff but the words did not come, I just wanted a day filled with harmony. I am truly wore out. Sad, confused. I hurt all over and under all this I know I need to detatch for my own life.
