How lucky you were to have a grandmother that you felt deep love for you and you for her. I know each and every relationship is different and each and every person leaves a different print on the heart. What I was saying is that I want to feel mutually supported and loved by my adult daughter and have the kind of light hearted laughter like how I had with my grandmother. Actually at this age and stage of my life I do not want to be around anyone that can not mutually share love and respect with me. I was my childrens protector and guided them but when my daughter became an adult I wanted a different kind of relationship with her, one that is mutually respectful.
Years ago I met a woman that was my mothers age. We had a beautiful relationship. She loved my children like her grandchildren. She had a daughter that died by cancer when she was 6 years old that would have been my age. That relationship was very satifying, nurturing and fun. She died in 2004 and it was heartbreaking. Of course she did not take the place of my grandmother and I did not try to recreate what I had with my grandmother, I wanted the love and mutal growing and respect.
That is what I am missing from my daughter. The close sisterhood, the mutal respect, knowing someone has my back, knowing someone will be with me if I have to go to the hospital. I want to RECREATE the goodness that comes from a loving relationship. There will never be a replacement or recreation of my grandmother or my son or my friend that I lost but I will make damn sure that anyone I allow into my life will give me mutal respect.
