Peace in the storm

[newstart]

It has been one week since I have said one word to my daughter. I have returned texts here and there but absolutely no words. I can tell in her vile texts to me that she is still highly manic. While we were arguing last week she said that I needed to go back to therapy. I told her I agree, I need to find out why I have this need or obligation to help people that are so abusive to me. My voice was calm and collected. I got another text a few days ago with her wanting to come over and I politely said that I was not mad or sad I am just very wore out from being on the receiving end of her massive deceit.
Instead of crying, this time I feel relief that I am not dealing with her. I went shopping yesterday, actually picked out a few items. Usually when she is with me she tells me everything I pick out is ugly or stupid. I picked out a nice purse, something I have needed for a long time.
When my husband came back from the wilderness I told him about my conversation with our daughter and then when I told him I had a call waiting I told him how the call sounded, he said, I bet it was your guardian angels that called you. I was shocked that he said that since he is a scientist and his mind always goes to facts. He said that he felt intuitively that they called since she acts so rotten. For you that are reading this post and did not read my other post, I think I got a call from my guardian angels while on the phone with my mean daughter. I believe that her ugly hate towards me was so horrific that they called from the spiritual world. I believe that the spiritual realm is horrified when someone acts like a demon and the demon acting person is doing nothing but destroying God's kingdom. Someone yelling at a plant can kill a plant, just think what it can do to a person on a cellular level.

I know my daughter will tell me that she has some new medical reason why she is that way. Going through another breakup for the 100th time with the same creepy boyfriend is certainly not good enough for her to be abusive to me or anyone else.

She has made a choice to live on the nasty side. She has had hours of therapy to know what to do, she KNOWS how to stop her creepy behavior yet chooses to harm innocent people and continues to make horrible choices.

Each morning when I meet my prayer partner while we swim laps together we ask God to protect our children, children in general, and for strength. I am so very grateful and satisfied that I have God to hand it over to.

 

[JMom]

Hey Newstart,

It sounds like you have clarity in the situation with your daughter. I love that you are taking care of yourself by swimming and meeting with a prayer partner. It is a huge accomplishment to practice self care when we are so beaten up by our Difficult Child's. I know it has been two weeks since you posted, I have been offline a bit. How is it going?
Hugs,
JMOM

 

[newstart]

Hey Newstart,

It sounds like you have clarity in the situation with your daughter. I love that you are taking care of yourself by swimming and meeting with a prayer partner. It is a huge accomplishment to practice self care when we are so beaten up by our Difficult Child's. I know it has been two weeks since you posted, I have been offline a bit. How is it going?
Hugs,
JMOM

Hi JMOM, Thank you again for your reply. I have not said one word to my daughter since July 27th, a few texts here and there but not one word. I have been doing a lot of thinking.. When I was around my daughter this last time, I felt as if I got kicked in the stomach several times, I actually started to bleed when I got home. Being around her was that toxic. I was reading about narcissistic behavior and how it goes hand and hand with bipolar or borderline. I read something very interesting that I want to share with all of you.~

1. Their intention is to disturb others with their emotional problems. While there can be other intentions they state, they really just want to disturb others. And that is so they can hide what they do in the background.
2. They sound confident not because of what they say that moment, but because they are always hiding something. Any argument you have makes them feel more confident, because they this way they distract you even more from what they are hiding.
3. They lie. And they constantly pretend, by playing drama , like something happened to them, or they have some worry. Anything they say is an excuse to hide something else.

This makes a lot of sense to me. My daughter is always so secretive.

I have backed off. My daughter and I were ok, working things out and then the boyfriend calls and knocks her mania into outer limits.
Then she tries to hide that she is back with him and gets very ugly with me. Abusive and cruel.
I agree and I know to detach with love.. Sometimes there is just so much a person can take.