Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Peace is the choice
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="newstart" data-source="post: 728778" data-attributes="member: 22416"><p>New Leaf, Your outlook and wisdom is greatly appreciated. I read and re read your post. Since I have been so involved in my daughters life I have a different relationship than her dad with her. I have noticed that my husband looks bad, pale and has aged many years. I pray that he can stay well through all this turmoil, another reason that it is so important to detach, we are making this priority for health reasons. My husband has a very hard time with our son's death to begin with and our daughter going off the rains is weighing him down..He loves her deeply but is very disgusted with her. He said he just wants her to go away. That is what he said about his bipolar brother and sister, he does not want harm happening to them, he just wants them to go away and not bother him anymore. That is why detaching is the only solution. Now I have to study how to detach properly.</p><p></p><p>I have given it thought about what I would do if my husband was to pass away and I was stuck with my daughters BS alone. My husband said if I pass before him he would leave town without a forwarding address or phone number, we actually worry about this, being stuck alone with someone so toxic and rude..</p><p></p><p>I do undertand that husbands deal with grief very differently. </p><p>Yesteday my daughter wanted to come over and by the tone of my voice she knew I did not want her here. Each visit I am left with a hole in my stomach even when she is trying to be nice. I get so tried of her telling me all the really bad things that she is not doing to justify what she is doing. She will say Well, at least I am not taking drugs etc. I had a letter come to my house saying she owes money for a moving car violation. Since the car is in our name the letter came here. I met her outside between our homes, we live about 20 minutes apart walking and I handed her the letter. I told her I do not want to be reminded of her constant deviant and delinquent behavior and I do not want her mail coming to my house, I feel horrified each time I get news of her awful choices, I am on full speed ahead to detach as quick as I can. I noticed she turned a sick white color and did not say much.</p><p>I am so sorry New Leaf that you lost your husband. I really feel for you. My deepest prayers are that you can defend yourself fully against your wayward children. I can't even imagine 2, one is so draining. </p><p>Not only do I have to detach, I have to put a spiritual shield around me for protection. </p><p></p><p>The way I handle my bipolar sister in law is through distance and not ask her any personal questions like 'how are you?' that is too personal for her and the subject has to stay on worldly affairs or current news. I feel like I am dealing with a robot and our relationship is cordial at best. My husband only texts her because she is too draining for him.</p><p>This has kind of worked because we had some loose ends to tie up after my husbands parents died. I used to think she was the meanest person I have ever met but I believe my daughter is in first place now.</p><p></p><p>I send you love and compassion on this cold February day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="newstart, post: 728778, member: 22416"] New Leaf, Your outlook and wisdom is greatly appreciated. I read and re read your post. Since I have been so involved in my daughters life I have a different relationship than her dad with her. I have noticed that my husband looks bad, pale and has aged many years. I pray that he can stay well through all this turmoil, another reason that it is so important to detach, we are making this priority for health reasons. My husband has a very hard time with our son's death to begin with and our daughter going off the rains is weighing him down..He loves her deeply but is very disgusted with her. He said he just wants her to go away. That is what he said about his bipolar brother and sister, he does not want harm happening to them, he just wants them to go away and not bother him anymore. That is why detaching is the only solution. Now I have to study how to detach properly. I have given it thought about what I would do if my husband was to pass away and I was stuck with my daughters BS alone. My husband said if I pass before him he would leave town without a forwarding address or phone number, we actually worry about this, being stuck alone with someone so toxic and rude.. I do undertand that husbands deal with grief very differently. Yesteday my daughter wanted to come over and by the tone of my voice she knew I did not want her here. Each visit I am left with a hole in my stomach even when she is trying to be nice. I get so tried of her telling me all the really bad things that she is not doing to justify what she is doing. She will say Well, at least I am not taking drugs etc. I had a letter come to my house saying she owes money for a moving car violation. Since the car is in our name the letter came here. I met her outside between our homes, we live about 20 minutes apart walking and I handed her the letter. I told her I do not want to be reminded of her constant deviant and delinquent behavior and I do not want her mail coming to my house, I feel horrified each time I get news of her awful choices, I am on full speed ahead to detach as quick as I can. I noticed she turned a sick white color and did not say much. I am so sorry New Leaf that you lost your husband. I really feel for you. My deepest prayers are that you can defend yourself fully against your wayward children. I can't even imagine 2, one is so draining. Not only do I have to detach, I have to put a spiritual shield around me for protection. The way I handle my bipolar sister in law is through distance and not ask her any personal questions like 'how are you?' that is too personal for her and the subject has to stay on worldly affairs or current news. I feel like I am dealing with a robot and our relationship is cordial at best. My husband only texts her because she is too draining for him. This has kind of worked because we had some loose ends to tie up after my husbands parents died. I used to think she was the meanest person I have ever met but I believe my daughter is in first place now. I send you love and compassion on this cold February day. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Peace is the choice
Top