Question about State Health and Environment...

[ksm]

Last week our daughter received mail, addressed to her from "X"DHE. X Department of Health and Environment. I put the X as it stands for the state we live in. On the return address it says:

XDHE, Intake Manager, then the address.

I have worried for one week about what it may contain. I have contacted her daily, to try to get her to stop by or meet up with me. She is suppose to meet me tomorrow...

Has anyone else's child received such a letter? The envelope has a printed design on the inside of the envelope...so it does no use to hold it to the light. I know that communicable diseases are one of the things that are handled by this agency. I am so worried. Worried that even after she opens it, she won't confide in me.

Amy clues?? Ksm

 

[Tanya M]

Hi KSM, I'm sorry for your worry. I have never dealt with that type of mail.

My son used to get collection notices mailed to my home. I told him numerous times to stop using my address. I finally got to the point that I started writing "no one at this address by that name" on all mail that came for him.

I hope she meets up with you but as you said, she may or may not share what the letter contains.

 

[Elsi]

In my area, I THINK the county health department (not state) would be the ones that might be sending you results from STD testing or other communicable diseases, if you ended up at a clinic run by them. STATE Department of Health and Environment I associate more with things like vaccination reminders for people who qualify for low costs clinics, notices of environmental exposures (e.g. people who have lived in an area with a chemical exposure or who may have been exposed at work), and other general rather than personal notices. But I could be wrong, and this could vary widely from state to state and county to county. It could be a lot of things, not all of them alarming - a vaccination reminder, an invitation to participate in a survey or study, results from lab work she didn't tell you about. If she's an adult, she has the right to keep any of that private from you. I think I would try not to worry too much about this one - as my grandmother would say in her day, no use borrowing trouble.

 

[Despairing Mom]

The word "environment" connected to the State Department of Health is associated with public health tracking programs which could mean STDs.

 

[ksm]

But... intake Manager. To me that means some one needing info. I went to the website for our states XDHE... And they have a list of communicable diseases that must be reported to the state by medical offices. Some are STDs and also HIV/AIDS and thinks like West Nile, Ebola, etc...

I know I can't control any of this, or what she does with the info... Use hate this. Ksm

 

[Elsi]

The thing is, the list of things it COULD be is too broad to waste time worrying about without further information. "Intake" could be for a study. Or a program she qualifies for. I know our minds tend to leap immediately to the worst case scenario, but I don't think it's helpful to speculate. It just drives us mad.

All states have communicable disease reporting, but that just means doctors have to report to the state when they make a diagnosis for tracking purposes. I was diagnosed with Lyme this summer (thanks, formerly stray kitty in my picture, for bringing all your friends and disease vectors in with you!). My doctor told me she would be reporting it to the state and my data may end up as part of a statistical study, because Lyme is still fairly new in our area. I have yet to get something from the state or county about it, and I'm not sure whether I should expect something or not. The notice my doctor gave me about data sharing may be the only notice I'm going to get.

I think here for STDs they do have some kind of notification for past sexual partners of someone infected (assuming they are willing to provide the information), but I really thought that came from the county - some kind of a "please come in and get tested" notice.

I think all you can do is get the mail to your daughter as soon as you're able to. The rest is in her hands - if there is something they want her to do, or some program she could qualify for if she does X, or a vaccine she's due for, as an adult she'll have to be the one to take care of it. All we can really do as parents is encourage them to do that, and be an open, non-hysterical and non-judgemental listener in hopes that they will give us some clue as to what is really going on with them.

I know how frustrating it is to leave them in charge of their own affairs when they ...seem to do so badly at it. I know C has a 30-day window to get paperwork in for Medicaid which would apparently allow them to retroactively cover his recent hospital stay and access care moving forward. I'm 95% sure he hasn't done it and I don't know when the window closes. Won't be too much longer here. He'll probably miss it, just like he's missed every Medicaid and food stamp enrollment period for the last several years, even though he certainly would qualify. At his age, all I can do is remind him and hope for the best. It's maddening.

 

[BusynMember]

I am really thinking that perhaps she has a treatable STD. Or took a test and doesnt have it.

I am usually hands off for my adult kids but if this really scares you, I dont feel its the worst thing to open it and look. After all, she is sending her mail to your house. If she wants complete privacy she can use another address, including a P.O. box. I dont think you should have to suffer wondering. You have suffered enough. Not that you should lie (I am uncomfortable lying) but I have ripped open mail addressed to my kids by accident because I hadnt looked at the name and assumed it was for my hub or me since it was in my mail box.

Love and light.

 

[ksm]

I know... It's just frustrating, I had managed to detach quite a bit in the last month or so.

Things haven't gone well. She lost her job. She said it was too stressful as a couple managers were asking her...if she had HIV... I don't know if it's true that they asked her that...or if that's an excuse for losing the job.

This summer while we were on vacation in Europe, I looked at the photos from the day before...and there was a video of her having sex with the Xbf (4 years, more off, than on). And there was no condom...

I had loaned her my old camera, as her camera wouldn't charge her battery. The creep used my phone, which still had the photos tied to my own Google photo account still tied to it. So they did not know it was sent to me. Then later that week, they broke up, and he kept my camera.

Dtr did get the camera back and I informed her what happened and she needed to delete it off the phone. She said she checked the history on the phone and it was not uploaded any where.

The stupidity lever is so high. Ksm

 

[Elsi]

Ouch. That's not something any mom wants to see. With these additional details, I can see why you're concerned about the envelope showing up.

But...why would her managers be asking her if she had HIV? Isn't it illegal of them to ask, let alone fire someone due to their medical status? Unless she was working in a healthcare environment where her status might put others at risk, I can't imagine a situation where this is legal.

It sounds like it's something on her mind, though, whether they put it there or not. Could she have gone to a clinic without telling you to get tested? (If she did, this would actually be showing some maturity - taking active steps to protect her own health.)

Personally, I would not open it, though I won't judge you if you do. But since she opened up to you about this work conversation about HIV, I would probably re-open that conversation. Is there a reason you're worried about HIV right now? Did you get tested recently? Are you expecting something from the health department with results? Can we open this together and talk about the results?

I hope she does meet you tomorrow, and you're able to get to the bottom of this. Regardless of what's in the envelope, she definitely needs to be making better decisions to protect both her health and her privacy.

Hang in there.

 

[ksm]

She was working at a fast food place...where most of the supervisors are about her age. She said one mail manager would smoke weed in break and offer her some. Sigh...

I know I just got to be patient... Ksm

 

[Smithmom]

Patience can be a learned skill. Or not.

Sorry I have no idea how your state govt is structured. Can tell you that my son on SSI and Medicaid receives probably one letter a mo re medicaid. Always a change in company that controls services, office to contact, eligibility ?, if they're not clogging my mailbox they're not happy.

I'll throw out another wild card... Being pregnant means food stamps and various programs through the state. Another wild card...if she goes to get a vaccine somebody may follow up.

 

[ksm]

She has had a state medical card for 1.5 years now. I have never gotten any mail from this state dept. ditto with having a case manager... Nothing from this place.

One more day... Ksm

 

[BusynMember]

We got mail about SSI changes fot Sonic when I was his guardian, but nothing about Medicare/Medicaid. It desnt change. The amount of SSI does change depending upon how much he makes at work. Now all that goes to his aparttment. He is now his own guardian now.

His case manager calls him, doesnt write to him, and usually Sonic calls him first for contact. They want Sonic to be as independent as possible.
This is how it has been done with my son in Wisconsin.

 

[Smithmom]

In my state medicaid is now outsourced to a private company. So called managed care. This company changes all the time. Thus the letters. Think the one last week was specific to mental health services saying that those services had changed managed care co. Different managed care co than general medical services. Think it also gave phone number for case mgr for services to autistics. They also change his primary care provider at will.

Thankfully mine doesn't need any of this. Since he's switching from SSI to SSDI all medication coverage goes away! For 2 years! Then Medicare kicks in. What a system we have!

Anyway, try to distract yourself. This may be an instance where you need to tell her to use another address. If her mail is giving you this kind of anxiety maybe detachment is needed via a change of address. There was a post about this recently by Copacobana.