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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 726660" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>Pigless, sadly, while YS does have some memory and attention issues, his desire to stay with his father is genuine. YS and DS have it "made" where they are. There are no rules or expectations, they do exactly as they please and there are no consequences or accountability. Drop out of school? Fine by their father. Use drugs? That's okay too. Sleep til noon and refuse to work? No problem! What teenager wouldn't want that kind of life? And what teenager would exchange it for a life of rules, supervision, consequences and accountability, especially with a parent about whom they feel ambivalent at best? </p><p></p><p>It was always a fantasy that YS would choose us over his dad. But it was necessary that we make the offer, for him and for us, and we did, and he refused, and now we have to move on.</p><p></p><p>Susie, thanks for the insight re: my wife possibly blowing up from the stress of this IEP meeting. I agree and I will do my best to be "bigger, wiser, kinder and stronger" in the moment. I plan to walk away once the next argument gets heated and stay away until she is calm.</p><p></p><p>And I also agree that YS will need an epiphany to move forward into the kind of life we would prefer him to have (that of a productive citizen with good self-esteem, the ability to self-regulate and self-manage, along with having a decent education and employment prospects). The more likely outcome, especially given his disabilities now, is that he will live with his father well into adulthood.</p><p></p><p>As my new signature says I am focusing on me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 726660, member: 13303"] Pigless, sadly, while YS does have some memory and attention issues, his desire to stay with his father is genuine. YS and DS have it "made" where they are. There are no rules or expectations, they do exactly as they please and there are no consequences or accountability. Drop out of school? Fine by their father. Use drugs? That's okay too. Sleep til noon and refuse to work? No problem! What teenager wouldn't want that kind of life? And what teenager would exchange it for a life of rules, supervision, consequences and accountability, especially with a parent about whom they feel ambivalent at best? It was always a fantasy that YS would choose us over his dad. But it was necessary that we make the offer, for him and for us, and we did, and he refused, and now we have to move on. Susie, thanks for the insight re: my wife possibly blowing up from the stress of this IEP meeting. I agree and I will do my best to be "bigger, wiser, kinder and stronger" in the moment. I plan to walk away once the next argument gets heated and stay away until she is calm. And I also agree that YS will need an epiphany to move forward into the kind of life we would prefer him to have (that of a productive citizen with good self-esteem, the ability to self-regulate and self-manage, along with having a decent education and employment prospects). The more likely outcome, especially given his disabilities now, is that he will live with his father well into adulthood. As my new signature says I am focusing on me. [/QUOTE]
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