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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 740744" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>Copacabana--yes, during the night is the hardest time. I awaken throughout many nights and think of him. I just try to say a prayer and ask God to protect him at that very moment. You're right about thoughts--we do have to "change the channel". It is a discipline that is needed to stay afloat through this. Some days I do well with it; other days not so much. </p><p></p><p>I just read an article about the grief of parents who have a mentally ill child. The grief we experience is unique, mainly because, unlike parents who lose a child physically, we do not receive the acknowledgement and support of those around us. There is no validation of our grief as there would be with a physical death of a child. People either don't know what to say, or they minimize it and don't understand that our loss is as devastating as a physical loss, or they're embarrassed because of the stigma of mental illness. So those of us in this circumstance often feel isolated and alone and without the support we need to process our grief. We are left "in limbo", feeling alone, with feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, self-doubt, etc. and no way to process it and move forward. The support and validation of our grief is a necessary part of the grieving process. My husband has spoken at our church of our situation with our son. Other than one couple in the church, no one else speaks of it or asks about how we are doing or offers to pray for us. It is hurtful and leaves us feeling alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 740744, member: 22597"] Copacabana--yes, during the night is the hardest time. I awaken throughout many nights and think of him. I just try to say a prayer and ask God to protect him at that very moment. You're right about thoughts--we do have to "change the channel". It is a discipline that is needed to stay afloat through this. Some days I do well with it; other days not so much. I just read an article about the grief of parents who have a mentally ill child. The grief we experience is unique, mainly because, unlike parents who lose a child physically, we do not receive the acknowledgement and support of those around us. There is no validation of our grief as there would be with a physical death of a child. People either don't know what to say, or they minimize it and don't understand that our loss is as devastating as a physical loss, or they're embarrassed because of the stigma of mental illness. So those of us in this circumstance often feel isolated and alone and without the support we need to process our grief. We are left "in limbo", feeling alone, with feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, self-doubt, etc. and no way to process it and move forward. The support and validation of our grief is a necessary part of the grieving process. My husband has spoken at our church of our situation with our son. Other than one couple in the church, no one else speaks of it or asks about how we are doing or offers to pray for us. It is hurtful and leaves us feeling alone. [/QUOTE]
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