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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 751244" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Beta,</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry I didn't see this post until now. </p><p></p><p>Just a couple of weeks ago I had the same things said to me (minus the threat to kill) but I was called a whore and told that if I didn't help him with gas money that if he (oldest son) ever saw me and I opened my mouth, he'd slap me so hard across the face that I'd never get up.</p><p></p><p>I think that our sons went to the same "school of hate". Both sons, use my religion as a point to fight back. They've been doing this for years.</p><p></p><p>He has since sent numerous e-mails (because I've blocked him on cell phone) that have degraded and insulted me. He has told me in the past he wished an 18 wheeler would run me over and his only regret would be that he wouldn't be there to witness it. I understand your pain first hand, as many of us on this site do.</p><p></p><p>Only and I mean only by the grace of God have I been able to turn my life around and not even reply to the e-mails (last 3 weeks). I think I will be completely better the day I don't "read" his e-mails but I am making progress. The way they come in on my computer, I have them go into a different folder (which I am keeping should I ever need to provide to the police) but when I view e-mails on my phone they are visible right on the spot. It's hard to avoid them.</p><p></p><p>I kid you not, I have delved into about 50 books which I have read over the last three weeks. I am devouring all the self-help, wisdom, knowledge, compassion and understanding they provide. </p><p></p><p>I will share something that did also bring my most recent change to not allow him to speak to me that way, yet still engage in a relationship, if you will, with him (by relationship I mean me giving him money). In these books that I read, it explained to me that if I was allowing verbal abuse (which also occurred with ex-husband and younger son for many years) that there is at some level something about myself that I find unworthy. I prayed about this and really searched my soul and in fact, I unearthed something that happened to me as a very young girl that I have pushed to the back of my mind for 50 years. I don't mean I never thought about it but I never dealt with it. I always felt shame and unworthy because I had always kept that a secret, like it was my fault, very shameful, very unworthy that if anyone knew they would think badly of me. Hardly, as I know now, as a young girl of 7-8 yrs. old.</p><p></p><p>Once I realized that this was causing me feelings of unworthiness I prayed to God and asked the Holy Spirit to remove my shame, guilt, hurt and pain associated with it so that I could begin to heal. It is working. I have become stronger. I'm not perfect and every time I get an e-mail or an unknown caller number, my stomach does flip flops. My point is, I run to God every time I struggle, even just lifting my thoughts up in prayer.</p><p></p><p>My heart aches for your pain. I want to give you a message that might give you hope amidst your difficulties.</p><p></p><p>In heaven our dreams will come true. God has promised restoration of all things (Acts 3:21) .."All things, includes all relationships."</p><p></p><p>Hoping you are doing better over the last few days since you posted. Please let us know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 751244, member: 23405"] Beta, I'm sorry I didn't see this post until now. Just a couple of weeks ago I had the same things said to me (minus the threat to kill) but I was called a whore and told that if I didn't help him with gas money that if he (oldest son) ever saw me and I opened my mouth, he'd slap me so hard across the face that I'd never get up. I think that our sons went to the same "school of hate". Both sons, use my religion as a point to fight back. They've been doing this for years. He has since sent numerous e-mails (because I've blocked him on cell phone) that have degraded and insulted me. He has told me in the past he wished an 18 wheeler would run me over and his only regret would be that he wouldn't be there to witness it. I understand your pain first hand, as many of us on this site do. Only and I mean only by the grace of God have I been able to turn my life around and not even reply to the e-mails (last 3 weeks). I think I will be completely better the day I don't "read" his e-mails but I am making progress. The way they come in on my computer, I have them go into a different folder (which I am keeping should I ever need to provide to the police) but when I view e-mails on my phone they are visible right on the spot. It's hard to avoid them. I kid you not, I have delved into about 50 books which I have read over the last three weeks. I am devouring all the self-help, wisdom, knowledge, compassion and understanding they provide. I will share something that did also bring my most recent change to not allow him to speak to me that way, yet still engage in a relationship, if you will, with him (by relationship I mean me giving him money). In these books that I read, it explained to me that if I was allowing verbal abuse (which also occurred with ex-husband and younger son for many years) that there is at some level something about myself that I find unworthy. I prayed about this and really searched my soul and in fact, I unearthed something that happened to me as a very young girl that I have pushed to the back of my mind for 50 years. I don't mean I never thought about it but I never dealt with it. I always felt shame and unworthy because I had always kept that a secret, like it was my fault, very shameful, very unworthy that if anyone knew they would think badly of me. Hardly, as I know now, as a young girl of 7-8 yrs. old. Once I realized that this was causing me feelings of unworthiness I prayed to God and asked the Holy Spirit to remove my shame, guilt, hurt and pain associated with it so that I could begin to heal. It is working. I have become stronger. I'm not perfect and every time I get an e-mail or an unknown caller number, my stomach does flip flops. My point is, I run to God every time I struggle, even just lifting my thoughts up in prayer. My heart aches for your pain. I want to give you a message that might give you hope amidst your difficulties. In heaven our dreams will come true. God has promised restoration of all things (Acts 3:21) .."All things, includes all relationships." Hoping you are doing better over the last few days since you posted. Please let us know. [/QUOTE]
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