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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 751285" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>Beta, I have been checking back in because of concern.</p><p></p><p>First, BINGO! CIT. So glad you contacted the hotline. </p><p></p><p>Someone mentioned the same thing about the 3 day involuntary commitment. It isn't enough time to be therapeutic for your son and could enrage his behavior even more. That said, if at any time you feel unsafe, whether or not it is therapeutic for him is irrelevant.</p><p></p><p>It would be wonderful if you and your sister could work together. That said, a family intervention in this case doesn't seem safe to me unless conducted by a professional interventionist. We simply cannot be objective. Based on my personal experience, I think an independent person to lead is more likely to get the best results. Under the best of circumstances, it doesnt always work the way we expect. My sibling is a psychiatric NP.</p><p></p><p>I found the only thing I could change was to stop enabling. I had to stop the bank of mom or we wouldhave been bankrupted by my daughters gambling habit She doesnt work and has always expected men to take care of her. I have no idea what her living situation is now that she has gone completely off the rails with her destructive behaviors. Part of me wants to know, the other part is glad I don't. I have learned from others that not one penny ever went towards "helping my child get on her feet." That is not fair to our other children. We saved all our lives so we could be comfortable in our old age. I stopped giving money about 3 years ago. I am embarrassed to say when May would call with a crisis, I would jump to. I wish I would have stopped sooner. I am glad you have made the decision to stop. I know how hard that decision is, but it's the right one.</p><p></p><p>Some advice given, when we do for them we send a message that we feel they are incapable. My therapist had said those exact words to me. These adult children pull off their manipulative behaviors with stealth precision. They are capable.</p><p></p><p>I am glad about your decision to stop being tortured by Josh's vile behavior. You cant change it. We have to let go of guilt and thinking we can fix anybody but ourselves so we can be strong and capable. We deserve to be respected for the help we render. I am not in a great place because of a recent event with my daughter, but I am so much better than I would be without this group of amazing people. Take this time to figure out what you need to do for you. I am.</p><p></p><p>Keep us posted. Thank you for the update.</p><p></p><p>"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new." — <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socrates" target="_blank">Socrates</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 751285, member: 23811"] Beta, I have been checking back in because of concern. First, BINGO! CIT. So glad you contacted the hotline. Someone mentioned the same thing about the 3 day involuntary commitment. It isn't enough time to be therapeutic for your son and could enrage his behavior even more. That said, if at any time you feel unsafe, whether or not it is therapeutic for him is irrelevant. It would be wonderful if you and your sister could work together. That said, a family intervention in this case doesn't seem safe to me unless conducted by a professional interventionist. We simply cannot be objective. Based on my personal experience, I think an independent person to lead is more likely to get the best results. Under the best of circumstances, it doesnt always work the way we expect. My sibling is a psychiatric NP. I found the only thing I could change was to stop enabling. I had to stop the bank of mom or we wouldhave been bankrupted by my daughters gambling habit She doesnt work and has always expected men to take care of her. I have no idea what her living situation is now that she has gone completely off the rails with her destructive behaviors. Part of me wants to know, the other part is glad I don't. I have learned from others that not one penny ever went towards "helping my child get on her feet." That is not fair to our other children. We saved all our lives so we could be comfortable in our old age. I stopped giving money about 3 years ago. I am embarrassed to say when May would call with a crisis, I would jump to. I wish I would have stopped sooner. I am glad you have made the decision to stop. I know how hard that decision is, but it's the right one. Some advice given, when we do for them we send a message that we feel they are incapable. My therapist had said those exact words to me. These adult children pull off their manipulative behaviors with stealth precision. They are capable. I am glad about your decision to stop being tortured by Josh's vile behavior. You cant change it. We have to let go of guilt and thinking we can fix anybody but ourselves so we can be strong and capable. We deserve to be respected for the help we render. I am not in a great place because of a recent event with my daughter, but I am so much better than I would be without this group of amazing people. Take this time to figure out what you need to do for you. I am. Keep us posted. Thank you for the update. "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new." — [URL='https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socrates']Socrates[/URL] [/QUOTE]
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