HanginginThere
Living life one day at a time
Hello to all. I felt like I just had to send out a thank you to all the members for their encouraging threads that I have read over the last year. I am a single mother to a 24 year old Difficult Child who has been creating chaos since he was barely a teenager. Everything from smoking marijuana, stealing my money/credit cards/prescription medication/property, shoplifting, burglarizing homes/cars etc. I have tried who knows how many times to help him with a place to stay, transportation, employment with the end result being a complete failure. At 15, he got a girl pregnant and I found out only by sheer luck after that baby was born. He did graduate from high school and enlisted in the Army where after a little more than a year was kicked out for doing spice and not showing up to work. After that, it has been almost five years of working in fast food restaurants for a few months before either quitting or getting fired. In between that were stints in jail for drug possession.
He has been living with me the entire time until last fall when it all came to a head. I decided to try Plan Z and get him enrolled in college. He seemed excited and I had to jump through many many hoops to get him eligible for financial aid and I fronted the money for his tuition and cosigned on a car. He went for about two weeks and told me that he couldn't take the stress of school and breaking up with his girlfriend so he was quitting and was going to work at a painting company. I was extremely upset but told him as long as he paid me back the tuition money that everything would be fine. Well it came time when the financial aid money should have been in his account. He put me off for about three weeks and finally told me that he had taken the $5000 and went on a crack binge. Around that same time, I found that my laptop, all my yard equipment, and his children's Christmas presents that I had bought, had been stolen by him and pawned. After that, I told him to leave and since then I have had problems with him kicking in my doors to get in the house and steal things, take showers, eat my food and do his laundry.
I finally have had enough and filed charges on him. Of course, because I have been kind and let him come over on Saturdays to my home for supervised visitation with his children then the police said they couldn't make it Burglary charges, only Theft. I just went and got my lawnmower from the pawn shop the other day and they have banned him for life. He is currently homeless and can't understand how a mother could file charges on their homeless child. Well it's been a long time coming and eventually you have to face up to the choices you have made in life.
I'm here because I just really need your words of encouragement to keep on keeping on with my life. It has gotten worse because he's so angry with me that he has spoken with my ex daughter in law and has made it that I cannot see my grandsons (8 and 5) anymore. They have been at my house every weekend for the past four years and we would go on great adventures. It's hard keeping it together because they were everything to me and I feel like I'm mourning their death. I have extreme guilt that they will think that I just up and abandoned them. This combined with the resentment that I have towards my son because I'm stuck paying on a car that he has destroyed and the credit card bill for his college tuition has me struggling to continue my day to day life. Please tell me that it will get better.
He has been living with me the entire time until last fall when it all came to a head. I decided to try Plan Z and get him enrolled in college. He seemed excited and I had to jump through many many hoops to get him eligible for financial aid and I fronted the money for his tuition and cosigned on a car. He went for about two weeks and told me that he couldn't take the stress of school and breaking up with his girlfriend so he was quitting and was going to work at a painting company. I was extremely upset but told him as long as he paid me back the tuition money that everything would be fine. Well it came time when the financial aid money should have been in his account. He put me off for about three weeks and finally told me that he had taken the $5000 and went on a crack binge. Around that same time, I found that my laptop, all my yard equipment, and his children's Christmas presents that I had bought, had been stolen by him and pawned. After that, I told him to leave and since then I have had problems with him kicking in my doors to get in the house and steal things, take showers, eat my food and do his laundry.
I finally have had enough and filed charges on him. Of course, because I have been kind and let him come over on Saturdays to my home for supervised visitation with his children then the police said they couldn't make it Burglary charges, only Theft. I just went and got my lawnmower from the pawn shop the other day and they have banned him for life. He is currently homeless and can't understand how a mother could file charges on their homeless child. Well it's been a long time coming and eventually you have to face up to the choices you have made in life.
I'm here because I just really need your words of encouragement to keep on keeping on with my life. It has gotten worse because he's so angry with me that he has spoken with my ex daughter in law and has made it that I cannot see my grandsons (8 and 5) anymore. They have been at my house every weekend for the past four years and we would go on great adventures. It's hard keeping it together because they were everything to me and I feel like I'm mourning their death. I have extreme guilt that they will think that I just up and abandoned them. This combined with the resentment that I have towards my son because I'm stuck paying on a car that he has destroyed and the credit card bill for his college tuition has me struggling to continue my day to day life. Please tell me that it will get better.
