Saw this on Facebook today. Harsh but true.

[Albatross]

I agree with everything you said, Kathy. I think acceptance and accountability are the only hope an addict has for long-lasting sobriety.

It's not that I blame people who get cancer and don't feel bad for them. My point is asking why people blame those with addiction issues for their problems and not people that have health problems brought on by lifestyle choices.

I think large parts of society do unfairly tend to see addiction as a "weakness" or a "will power" issue.

I have to confess that, working in the healthcare arena, I *DO* get very frustrated with patients who are admitted again and again with the same diagnoses that are directly caused by their bad lifestyle choices. I guess maybe it does cross into blame.

I wouldn't say, "Hey, Fatty, just quit scarfing the Ding-Dongs!" any more than I would say "JUST STOP IT!" to an addict. But the onus has to be on them to change.

At what point does the patient become accountable for changing the behavior that is making him or her sick?

I think that's my struggle with the illness concept of addiction. I do believe it's an illness, in both the physiological and psychological sense, but I think the illness model in substance abuse also needs to stress the active role the addict must play in his or her recovery.

 

[Kathy813]

If you dont try substances you wont get the illness of addiction. If you do, and its in the genes, you are at high risk.

SWOT, I was thinking about your statement that addiction is a preventable disease. You are correct that if someone never takes a drink or a pill they will never become an addict. My husband and I drilled into our daughters that we have family members that have struggled with addiction and that they needed to stay away from drugs and alcohol.

However, who at 15, 16, or 17 years old thinks that they will become an alcoholic if they have a drink or an addict if they take a pill? Teenagers are notorious for thinking that nothing bad will ever happen to them. That's why they drive too fast, drink and drive, text and drive, etc. They think that they are invincible.

So they start down that road to addiction with that first drink at a party, first pill a friend gives them, the first time they get drunk, and so on.

My daughter has often pointed out that most of the kids that she partied with went on to become doctors, lawyers, or have high profile careers in the business world. They partied just as hard as she did. But they were able to mature and turn away from that lifestyle while my daughter and a couple of others went down the road of addiction and alcoholism. The difference was a genetic history and a pre-disposition towards the disease of addiction.

Does she wish she never took that first drink? First pill? Of course she does with the perspective of a 32-year-old who had gone through hell because of her addiction. But at 15? We were just crazy parents that worried too much and told her what to do.

 

[lovemyson1]

I'm glad that I posted this video for the sake of discussion. As I said before, I don't even know for sure what I believe about this. However, what I do see is reality and reality is I've known many people who were addicted to drugs and they made a decision to stop. So my question is if they had an addiction how did they just stop? And why are there other people out there that have addiction that never stop?

 

[RN0441]

This is a great thread!!

Kathy813 that are my thoughts exactly. At 15 we are too immature to see the impact of any of our behaviors: drinking, drugs, sex. You name it.

To me, it's just not realistic to say that someone can prevent addiction when most teenagers partake in some or all of the above activity. I did in all of them.

I firmly believe that addiction is a pre-existing condition. I do not think that any of our loved ones could have prevented themselves from being an addict in a normal situation that our children are growing up in today.

I think that many people look at addicts as lowlife scum and that is what truly bothers me. I used to think that way too.

I am humbled by my experience.

 

[BusynMember]

My older daughter was steeped in drugs, but quit because her personality is basically not lazy, angry or unmotivated. She got sick of the drug life, so she said.

She worked at Walmart in high school while using drugs and went to Cosmetology School and got A's then worked while on meth and coke. A high functioning drug user.

I think personality traits help or hinder quitting. If addiction is a disease, and I call it an illness, it is 100% dependent upon the sick person to put an end to this disease. Professionals can assist and offer help, but there is no antibiotic or medicine to cure it. So it is different in that our help doesnt help (often it prolongs it and makes it worse) and even doctors cant do it for them. This makes it very frustrating.

I think others often dont see it as an illness because addicts often hurt others by stealing, assaulting, abusing, getting into car accidents, even killing for drug money. It is hard for people to feel sympathy toward those who do crimes that hurt society. It is different from diseases that are not associated with crime.

This is a unique problem on many fronts. Drug addicts are not nice people while they are using.

 

[Kathy813]

My older daughter was steeped in drugs, but quit because her personality is basically not lazy, angry or unmotivated.

SWOT, I don't think you meant this in a bad way but it implies that those people that can't just quit on their own are basically lazy, angry, and unmotivated.

I think most addicts can be described that way when they are using. That doesn't mean that is the person they are when they are not using.

I think it depends on the level of physical dependence on alcohol or drugs. There is a point in alcoholism when quitting cold turkey can kill you. Stopping cold turkey when you have a severe benzo addiction can lead to seizures and death. My daughter had seizures several times when she tried to stop using benzos without a stay in a detox unit.

So I don't think that it depends on a personality type. I am not saying that those without a physical dependence on drugs or alcohol are not substance abusers. I just think it would be a lot easier not to say safer to simply quit using when there is no physical withdrawal . . . particularly one that can be life threatening.

I also think it depends on the drug of choice. I have been told that withdrawal from benzos is one of the hardest.

 

[BusynMember]

I didnt mean addicts should even TRY to quit on their own, Kathy. I meant (hope this is a better explanation...I dont always communicate well ) that the personality of anyone fighting anything comes into play when overcoming a challenge. People who try hard do better...in everything, even addiction, do best, right?

Having said that, drugs change a persons brain. Until any addict WANTS to change, he will not access his stregths. He or she will be in "drugged mind." But i think you are right that the drugs themselves often cause personality changes and that level of addiction matters. A lot! Thanks for correcting me. (Palm slaps forehead. Hard!)

I dont think my own daughter was actually a strong addict. She quit too fast and easily. To this day, she can drink a few times a year and stop before getting drunk (in fact can stop at one beer) so she is at least not an alcoholic. So I think you are right.i never thought about the level of addiction before you just brought it up or if all drug misuse is always addiction. Maybe its not.

And the drug of choice matters a lot. Benzos ARE deadly. Im glad your dear daughter is doing so well. She has shown her own strength and is a hero.

Thanks for making me think. I agree with YOU, not myself in my last post! Me and my wayward mouth...really.

 

[Awakening1990]

To me, alcoholism and drug addiction is a disease of the mind. No one in their right mind would put themselves or their loved ones through such hell if it were only a matter of choice or being weak. The choice may be there initially to pick up that first drink or drug, for no one is forcing it down your throat, but for some, it does get a hold of your mind and eventually your body and then the matter of choice, in a sound mind, is but all gone. I have lived through this personally and have gone to those meetings, one day at a time. I arrest my disease by not picking up the first drink now over 27 years. Ordinarily, Im not around beer/booze ever, but Just yesterday, I happen to be pouring my 82 yr old aunt a cold beer to enjoy with her burger and after smelling the beer, my head immediately said, I'd have to drink so many of these just to get a buzz.....it was never about a cold beer with a burger, it was always about shutting down and shutting off my head. Even after 27 yrs, that was my first thought, Im wired differently.

 

[Kathy813]

Awakening1990, thanks for sharing that. It helps those of us that don't battle substance abuse to understand what it is like for those that do.

I like how you said it is a disease of mind and body. That is a perfect description.

 

[Awakening1990]

Thanks Kathy, I agree with you