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Seruous topic. My ex and my responsibility
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<blockquote data-quote="AppleCori" data-source="post: 737286" data-attributes="member: 16024"><p>Hi SWOT</p><p></p><p>We are dealing with hubby’s 90 year old parents right now.</p><p></p><p>They do take care of their health needs, as far as we can tell, but they are not making all the best decisions on things right now. I believe this is a product of their age and ill health. </p><p></p><p>We are trying to get them to come back to this area from AZ, where they have spent their retirement. We almost got them to come back a year and a half ago, but they reneged at the last minute and we dropped it. We have been working on it this spring/summer and they backed out again. </p><p></p><p>One of hubby’s siblings was not on board till just recently and it caused a lot of friction. Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, etc. </p><p></p><p>Now, that person is belatedly on board, and I think it will be happening in the next few months. </p><p></p><p>Having everyone on the same page is blessing. I would encourage your former brother in law to take charge and get the adult children rallied around a common solution or a couple of options.</p><p></p><p>I have noticed with my in-laws that when people are pulling them in different directions, they just shut down and don’t want to do anything. When everyone is going in the same direction, it kind of feels like, well, that has to be the right thing. At least, they are feeling more comfortable now.</p><p></p><p>Even a couple of years ago, they were very resistant. Their son wanted to look at their long-term-care policies, and they wouldn’t let him. And, he is a senior partner at a law firm and does contract law for a living. </p><p></p><p>Now, however, we hope our patience has paid off. We will see soon.</p><p></p><p>My mother helped me to see this with compassion. She had dealt with older relatives many times and says when you are old and scared, it’s hard to face things and make decisions. One good thing is that she has strongly communicated her wishes to us while she is in a position to do so.</p><p></p><p>I would recommend that everyone get on the same page and then be patient and let him have time to process things. Be kind and caring. Maybe he will grow to see things in a different light if he doesn’t feel pushed. It may take a while. </p><p></p><p>Good luck and let us know how it goes.</p><p></p><p>Apple</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AppleCori, post: 737286, member: 16024"] Hi SWOT We are dealing with hubby’s 90 year old parents right now. They do take care of their health needs, as far as we can tell, but they are not making all the best decisions on things right now. I believe this is a product of their age and ill health. We are trying to get them to come back to this area from AZ, where they have spent their retirement. We almost got them to come back a year and a half ago, but they reneged at the last minute and we dropped it. We have been working on it this spring/summer and they backed out again. One of hubby’s siblings was not on board till just recently and it caused a lot of friction. Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, etc. Now, that person is belatedly on board, and I think it will be happening in the next few months. Having everyone on the same page is blessing. I would encourage your former brother in law to take charge and get the adult children rallied around a common solution or a couple of options. I have noticed with my in-laws that when people are pulling them in different directions, they just shut down and don’t want to do anything. When everyone is going in the same direction, it kind of feels like, well, that has to be the right thing. At least, they are feeling more comfortable now. Even a couple of years ago, they were very resistant. Their son wanted to look at their long-term-care policies, and they wouldn’t let him. And, he is a senior partner at a law firm and does contract law for a living. Now, however, we hope our patience has paid off. We will see soon. My mother helped me to see this with compassion. She had dealt with older relatives many times and says when you are old and scared, it’s hard to face things and make decisions. One good thing is that she has strongly communicated her wishes to us while she is in a position to do so. I would recommend that everyone get on the same page and then be patient and let him have time to process things. Be kind and caring. Maybe he will grow to see things in a different light if he doesn’t feel pushed. It may take a while. Good luck and let us know how it goes. Apple [/QUOTE]
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