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[trinityroyal]

Malika, I agree that you're the only one who can make the decision about whether or not to medicate J. It's never an easy decision, nor one taken lightly.

Backing up Janet's comments, I want to add some empirical evidence of my own.
ADHD medications have a substantially different effect on people with the condition vs. those who do not have it. My brother has ADHD, and was on Ritalin for years starting when he was about 3. There was a clear difference between "Medicated Bro" and "Non-medicated Bro". His body stopped twitching, his thoughts stopped racing, he was able to finish a thought, a sentence, a task. He becaame much more calm and settled. I, on the other hand, do not have ADHD. When I was in my early teens, I used to steal my brother's medications to get high. And get high, I did. Twitching, speed-freak high.

So: one child with ADHD gets nice and calm on the medications, while one child without ADHD becomes a blithering, jabbering, drooling mess. One girl's experience, but it matches with countless studies on the efficacy of stims on treating ADHD.

One thing to keep in mind. If the medications don't work, then the hyperactivity likely has a cause other than ADHD.

 

[AnnieO]

My $0.02 on this...

I was COMPLETELY anti-medications just a few years ago. Biomom (+ doctor) had put Onyxx on a cocktail of Seroquel for mood stabilization, Zoloft & Wellbutrin for depression, melatonin to help her sleep, benadryl for anxiety and high-dose naproxen for headaches... And Jett on Singulair for asthma, Claritin & Nasonex for allergies, and Concerta for ADHD.

Zoloft & Seroquel should normally not be taken together and especially not with another AD on board. Benadryl activates her mania, melatonin has no effect and due to the lack of sleep, the naproxen didn't help her headaches.

Jett's never had an asthma attack around us. The only time he wheezed at all was only detectable by a stethoscope, he didn't even notice it, and the mold was really high AND we were remodeling the basement... He is horribly allergic to mold (which biogma's trailer is FULL of...) Claritin had no effect but he couldn't take benadryl because of the Concerta. The Concerta made him bounce off the walls, turned him into a little brat and made him sleep so deeply he urinated all over the carpet in his room.

I'd not had any luck with antidepressants either.

That said, Onyxx on risperidone is a wonderful thing. We gave her Claritin for her allergies. Jett is on benadryl PRN for his allergies. The Concerta DOES make everyone hyperfocus - as a stimulant - caffeine does that too. But with ADHD, the child acts out due to the lack of focus ad frustration (this is MY take on it), and when the focus is there the frustration is gone. A non-ADHD person doesn't have that issue so their body takes on the bounciness. (Tigger of Winnie the Pooh fame = unmedicated ADHD or stimulant-medicated non-ADHD. Basically me on uppers.) And me on Celexa is beautiful.

Someone explained to me... If you have a medical condition, wouldn't you treat it? Bacterial infection = antibiotics... And some people can't take penicillin. Well, these things are chemical imbalances of one sort or another, so they are medical in their way; some people do better on Ritalin, others Vyvanse, some Strattera, and some nothing at all.

 

[susiestar]

We started Wiz on medications at seven. It was hard. We gave the first dose on a weekend so that we would be with him all day and be able to evaluate the progress. My husband was TOTALLY against it and after talking to the psychiatrist (which he had not ever done), I decided we HAD to at least try. He took the first dose about two hours before a soccer game.

the change was incredible. Astounding. Amazing. Every single adult at the game on both sides noticed. We had people showering praise on him from about five min into the game. Why? He stayed in his area. He focused on what was going on. He was not all over the place. even his coach who was not a pushover was thrilled with him.

the best part? HE liked how he felt.

At that age the decisions of medications were NEVER something I put in my child's control. A child of six or seven simply does not have the ability to make an informed decision. It is not a job they should have to handle, it is why they have parents. I DID include my child in the PROCESS of medications. I asked opinions, how he felt, how the medication made him feel, what did he like about the medications and what did he not? I took his input VERY seriously and weighed it as I evaluated and discussed things with my doctor.

My son NEEDED stimulants for years. Without them he could not control his mind or his body. With them? He could think. He LIKED himself a lot more. He didn't think he was a screw up. It was not easy to decide, and over the years some tinkering iwth medications and dosage had to be done.

in my opinion a ritalin based medication is one of the best to try as a first. You will get a few hours or at most one day of effects. good or bad, they will be over in a day. Out of his system. A trip is NOT the time to trial a new medication, esp the first one. A quiet day at home IS. There are too many things changing during a trip for you to have any idea what impact the medications are having. You need to think of this as an experiment and try to control as many variables as you can.

In some ways it is using a child as a guinea pig. But that happens anyway. Various foods have various effects and we try to control those - not too much junk food or sweets, enough protein, carb and healthy fats, eetc.... We do these things because those foods work best at a certain level, just like medications do.

My son is 21 and says he has ZERO intentions of going off his medications unless/until the psychiatrist tells him he should. He likes himself on them and that is HUGE. Many eople think that giving a child with adhd a stimulant will make them more likely to go and use drugs. There is a TON of research that says this simply is not true. When the child is on the RIGHT medications for adhd, including stimulants, they are much LESS likely to abuse drugs than others. Children who have adhd and are NOT medicated appropriately are MUCH more likely to later seek out drugs. They are seeking to self medicate because of the problems with adhd, at least as a major part of the reasons for using/abusing drugs.

You need to find a balance between the 2 sides of yourself. This is what WE experienced and have learned. While I would most likely trial the medication, I am not you and my child is not your child. Every child is different as is every mom. This means that whatever you do or don't do, that you have done your best. Of course we support you in what you think is best for . Just don't make it his decision, because that is way too much for a child to handle. WAY too much.

 

[HMBgal]

Malika, I've been following your post closely over the last year. I'm jumping in to say I understand your feelings. My grandson is taking Concerta 54 mgs once daily. It was heartrending to get to the step of having him swallow that pill. I'm a hippie dippie, and I monitor everything so closely that goes into my family's bodies. I'm a fitness freak, and always try to find the "natural" remedies first.

That being said, our journey with my soon-to-be-seven-years-old grandson has been long and fraught with successes and setbacks. After much family research, discussion, therapy play groups, multiple forced exits from pre-schools,
suspensions for completely losing at school multiple times, not being allowed to attend but a half-day in kinder, etc., we felt that while the Explosive Child, Lost at School, et. al, was helping at home, we educated the people at school as much as they would allow (purchased books and videos for the school to have), it still just wasn't enough.

This is a boy that taught himself to read, but couldn't maintain focus in any recreational activity, and sitting on the rug with 20 other kids was torture for him: he would throw things, hit, bite, scratch, and just look like he was crawling out of his skin. His options were becoming narrower and narrower: no invites for birthday parties except for family, gymnastics: great at it but his behavior was so bad that he was asked to leave. Same with martial arts and various play groups. He was starting to realize that he was different, had no control, and that his classmates all think he's odd. His exact words. I have cried so many tears over this kid because I'm watching his self-image suffer.

Our research showed that the paradoxical reaction to stimulants (it calms the hyper kids, and the expected effect of making the non-hyper kids climb the walls) was fairly immediate: no waiting weeks for blood levels to be achieved, etc. The quick in, quick out thing appealed to us (well, not really, of course, but made it as palatable as it was going to get).

We really had gotten to that point that even with the side effects, the cost of do nothing that seemed to be working up until that point, was worse for him. So, a year and a half ago, we gave him the first dose. Nothing at first, then had to up the dose, then we saw fairly immediate improvement in his focus, ability to attend to the teacher without outbursts, interrupting, etc. The teacher's reports were so positive (a really amazing, kind teacher) and all of sudden the suspensions dramatically decreased, and he was able to attend kinder all day. He was always strong academically, but his behaviors and not being in class was going to slow him down sooner rather than later. We thought of home-schooling, Waldorf, private schools, but really couldn't settle on a school or program that would accept him. Behaviors and social deficits so limit a child's options!

Our problems with my grandson aren't over. He still has an undiagnosed something: a mood disorder perhaps, just not sure, but he can focus, it gives him time to think through his options before lashing out, flipping out, melting down---sometimes, not always. Recess at his school is like Lord of the Flies, so he needs an aide to keep from running afoul of the older boys, who delight in winding him up (doesn't take much) and watching him lose it. He has a target on his back for sure, but between the aide at recess and a family member being with him through the lunch and lunch recess, he's doing much better.

He's so proud of his good learning brain, ability to read (loves to read to his sister and us), etc. We hate seeing the depressed appetite, sometimes his hands shake, but the in the grand scheme of things, it's a trade-off that the family as a whole felt we had to make at this time. He's still in social learning groups (although intellectually he's so tuned in and aware, but just can't control himself at times), and it's two good weeks, one bad, etc. His sleep has not been affected, and he eats really well at breakfast and dinner. We are careful that his calories count: no filling up on junk food, no artifical colors or ingredients we can't pronounce.

I feel your mommy-heart so strongly, and your answer will come to you, although if you're like me, I'm confident one day, and not the next. It's a journey and a process, and every family is beautifully unique in how that journey is made. The drugs haven't been a magic bullet, but it removes one big problem so we can get to working on the others using different modalities.

 

[Malika]

That being said, our journey with my soon-to-be-seven-years-old grandson has been long and fraught with successes and setbacks. After much family research, discussion, therapy play groups, multiple forced exits from pre-schools,
suspensions for completely losing at school multiple times, not being allowed to attend but a half-day in kinder, etc., we felt that while the Explosive Child, Lost at School, et. al, was helping at home, we educated the people at school as much as they would allow (purchased books and videos for the school to have), it still just wasn't enough.

This is a boy that taught himself to read, but couldn't maintain focus in any recreational activity, and sitting on the rug with 20 other kids was torture for him: he would throw things, hit, bite, scratch, and just look like he was crawling out of his skin. His options were becoming narrower and narrower: no invites for birthday parties except for family, gymnastics: great at it but his behavior was so bad that he was asked to leave. Same with martial arts and various play groups. He was starting to realize that he was different, had no control, and that his classmates all think he's odd. His exact words. I have cried so many tears over this kid because I'm watching his self-image suffer.

We really had gotten to that point that even with the side effects, the cost of do nothing that seemed to be working up until that point, was worse for him. So, a year and a half ago, we gave him the first dose. Nothing at first, then had to up the dose, then we saw fairly immediate improvement in his focus, ability to attend to the teacher without outbursts, interrupting, etc. The teacher's reports were so positive (a really amazing, kind teacher) and all of sudden the suspensions dramatically decreased, and he was able to attend kinder all day. He was always strong academically, but his behaviors and not being in class was going to slow him down sooner rather than later. We thought of home-schooling, Waldorf, private schools, but really couldn't settle on a school or program that would accept him. Behaviors and social deficits so limit a child's options!

Okay. Thank you all for your experiences and insights. Let me first say that I completely understand, I truly do, how people get to a point where the last resort of stimulants comes to seem a welcome boon, and necessary.

Can I explain why the decision of whether or not to medicate is SUCH a dilemma in our case? Unlike your grandson, HMBgal, J has never been asked to leave a school or a play centre. We did have some trouble at the play centre before they knew he was ADHD. Since then, and since they have had some input from the psychiatrist, things have been fine there. It is obviously very tiring to him, but he sits still in school most of the time he is required to do so - well, he sits in his chair, he probably doesn't sit still - and concentrates on his work at least some of the time. There have always been grumbles from the school about how he doesn't listen sometimes, can be cheeky or rude, too brusque with the other kids but again all before they knew or accepted he is ADHD. J is leaving the village school at the end of this school year but I do have the feeling that they would now start to be responsive to ways to accommodate his differences - the neuro-psychiatric. report has been sent to the principal, the man who came to evaluate him from the school authority, his teacher and they have all read it and seem to be taking it seriously.

He has done various sports - gym, tennis, swimming, horse riding, roller skating, karate - for two years and there's been the occasional grumble but really nothing more than that. I have never told any of them he is ADHD, apart from the gym teacher. There's never seemed to be a need. It has not been easy, it is never easy, but we have got through, nobody has been demanding he take medications, nobody has even ever suggested it.

My hesitation is all about disturbing the natural rhythms and centredness of his body, his central good health. This is a child who has always slept well and quickly, who doesn't eat very much as it is and is definitely on the skinny side, who is moreover highly sensitive (less well-disposed people who call it being a PITA) to any pain or physical disturbance. Just to make it clear - I am NOT asking him "J, should I or should I not give you medication?" Of course he can't answer that and shouldn't have to. But I have asked him whether he would like to take a medication that would make him calmer, make children want to play with him more and make it less tiring for him in school. He is absolutely adamant that he likes himself the way he is and does not want to take such a medication. Actually I really do think, young though he is, that a child needs to be a willing participant in their treatment - ie they have to see the need for it themselves and be grateful for it. Many people have told me about this reaction in their kids who take stimulants. For the moment, J just isn't there.

I think we need to wait a while and then review the situation again.

 

[AnnieO]

I think we need to wait a while and then review the situation again.

That right there says everything you need to know, then. Parents know their children better than ANY outsider.

 

[Malika]

Yes, you're right! But I should say (before I am accused of time wasting ) that I really hadn't got to that particular point of clarity before mulling it all over with you on the forum and others in "real life".

 

[InsaneCdn]

And THAT, Ms. Malika, is... a major part of what this forum is all about. Perspective. Thinking out loud. Info. Options...

 

[AnnieO]

Exactly, IC.