Many times I have seen Sheila say she has written a letter for clarification or such and then requested that it become a part of her difficult children file. What do you do if you make this request and you get a return letter refuting what you clarified and refusing to make either letter a part of the file?
At the last IEP meeting, which the SD requested, we were supposedly there to clarify a couple of points on the BIP. However, the SD had counsel present even though they knew I did not have counsel to attend this IEP meeting with me. It became quite obvious quickly into the IEP meeting that it was not about "clarifying" anything in the BIP. Instead the meeting was to try to alter the BIP so that difficult child could not be successful, we would get to her 10 days of suspension rather rapidly, have a manifestation hearing, and then determine where difficult child should be instead. I might also add that other then the PLP reports, the SD's attorney ran the meeting. At one point I had to ask for a break as I was about to break. This was just after I objected to the changes that would result in failure for difficult child, and the SD's attorney asked me, "Do you think we are trying to get rid of her?" I of course answered, "That is exactly what I believe."
OK, we got through the IEP meeting, and I was waiting for my copy of the IEP to be finished typing and printing. I asked the case manager on the computer if she had gotten my comment in the parent input about feeling at a disadvantage and intimidated because the SD had counsel when I did not. She read that part out to me and I told her that the wording reflected what I had said in the meeting. Well, the SpEd director was stil in the room and he began to object to that being in the IEP. He said it needed to be reworded to make it clear it was just my feelings, and that I wasn't actually intimidated. I told him it needed to remain as I had stated it in the meeting. It took about three attempts, but finally he realized I was telling him it was in the parent input and therefore should remain as I said it. Then he began to ask me over and over just how I felt intimidated, and exactly when did I begin to feel intimidated. I told him I was intimidated from the moment I realized they had counsel present and I did not, and that I remained intimidated and unable to meaningfully participate in my daughter's IEP due to their attorney running the meeting.
OK, then I leave and afterwards I decide to write a letter of clarification regarding his intimidation techniques in trying to get me to say I was not intimidated. I also wanted a record of him attempting to have my comments removed from the parent input of the IEP. I typed my letter, then I requested it be put in my daughter's permanent file. Well, about three weeks later I get a letter from the SpEd director, first of all saying that I was attempting to have things added to the IEP after the meeting was over, and that his only attempt was in making sure it was in the correct place. He then told me that they were within their rights to have the attorney there as they are allowed to invite whomever they want to the meeting. OK, I realize they can have their attorney there even if I do not have one, but then he goes on to tell me I was not intimidated. Excuse me, as much as you might like to believe you can tell me how I felt and it will be so, you cannot possibly know how I was feeling. I felt intimidated. Who would not when the SD had counsel present and I did not? Then he says that he will not be adding the letter to my daughter's file.
So, how do you get them to agree to that? This isn't the first time I have been told that my letter will not become a part of the file.
Of course I am going to write another letter to clarify once again exactly what I said above...you cannot possibly know how I felt. I am also going to nicely turn his words around to show who was actually having the problem understanding the parent input. Should I cc it to the state director of SpEd so that there is a record of this for future reference?
By the way, difficult child started 7th grade this year, which is jr. high here, and her first experience with 8 teachers and changing classes. She is doing quite well considering, but she just isn't compliant enough for them, hence they wanted to change the BIP so that they could not be bothered with having to follow her IEP. difficult child has only been sent home three times this year, only one time for a justified reason...she did hit a boy in the mouth after he hit her in the head with a ball in PE. He had braces, so his mouth bled. She was suspended the remainder of the day and the following day for that. Other than that, they tried to send her home one day because she was asked to leave class (again for refusing to work with a group) with the inclusion teacher, she refused, the principal was called, and difficult child left with him. She was going to be sent home because she refused to leave with the one teacher. Her IEP states if she refuses to leave with staff person, she will be asked to leave with the administrator, and if she does not further action will be taken. She was sent home another time for stretching in class and her ruler hitting the arm of the boy next to her. Then she was sent home a third time for pushing a girl's hand out of her face. So, all in all, she is doing pretty good. I didn't understand why they were wanting to alter the BIP so that they could get rid of her. But then they have been trying to get rid of her since she started school.
Thanks for any help from anybody.
mistmouse
At the last IEP meeting, which the SD requested, we were supposedly there to clarify a couple of points on the BIP. However, the SD had counsel present even though they knew I did not have counsel to attend this IEP meeting with me. It became quite obvious quickly into the IEP meeting that it was not about "clarifying" anything in the BIP. Instead the meeting was to try to alter the BIP so that difficult child could not be successful, we would get to her 10 days of suspension rather rapidly, have a manifestation hearing, and then determine where difficult child should be instead. I might also add that other then the PLP reports, the SD's attorney ran the meeting. At one point I had to ask for a break as I was about to break. This was just after I objected to the changes that would result in failure for difficult child, and the SD's attorney asked me, "Do you think we are trying to get rid of her?" I of course answered, "That is exactly what I believe."
OK, we got through the IEP meeting, and I was waiting for my copy of the IEP to be finished typing and printing. I asked the case manager on the computer if she had gotten my comment in the parent input about feeling at a disadvantage and intimidated because the SD had counsel when I did not. She read that part out to me and I told her that the wording reflected what I had said in the meeting. Well, the SpEd director was stil in the room and he began to object to that being in the IEP. He said it needed to be reworded to make it clear it was just my feelings, and that I wasn't actually intimidated. I told him it needed to remain as I had stated it in the meeting. It took about three attempts, but finally he realized I was telling him it was in the parent input and therefore should remain as I said it. Then he began to ask me over and over just how I felt intimidated, and exactly when did I begin to feel intimidated. I told him I was intimidated from the moment I realized they had counsel present and I did not, and that I remained intimidated and unable to meaningfully participate in my daughter's IEP due to their attorney running the meeting.
OK, then I leave and afterwards I decide to write a letter of clarification regarding his intimidation techniques in trying to get me to say I was not intimidated. I also wanted a record of him attempting to have my comments removed from the parent input of the IEP. I typed my letter, then I requested it be put in my daughter's permanent file. Well, about three weeks later I get a letter from the SpEd director, first of all saying that I was attempting to have things added to the IEP after the meeting was over, and that his only attempt was in making sure it was in the correct place. He then told me that they were within their rights to have the attorney there as they are allowed to invite whomever they want to the meeting. OK, I realize they can have their attorney there even if I do not have one, but then he goes on to tell me I was not intimidated. Excuse me, as much as you might like to believe you can tell me how I felt and it will be so, you cannot possibly know how I was feeling. I felt intimidated. Who would not when the SD had counsel present and I did not? Then he says that he will not be adding the letter to my daughter's file.
So, how do you get them to agree to that? This isn't the first time I have been told that my letter will not become a part of the file.
Of course I am going to write another letter to clarify once again exactly what I said above...you cannot possibly know how I felt. I am also going to nicely turn his words around to show who was actually having the problem understanding the parent input. Should I cc it to the state director of SpEd so that there is a record of this for future reference?
By the way, difficult child started 7th grade this year, which is jr. high here, and her first experience with 8 teachers and changing classes. She is doing quite well considering, but she just isn't compliant enough for them, hence they wanted to change the BIP so that they could not be bothered with having to follow her IEP. difficult child has only been sent home three times this year, only one time for a justified reason...she did hit a boy in the mouth after he hit her in the head with a ball in PE. He had braces, so his mouth bled. She was suspended the remainder of the day and the following day for that. Other than that, they tried to send her home one day because she was asked to leave class (again for refusing to work with a group) with the inclusion teacher, she refused, the principal was called, and difficult child left with him. She was going to be sent home because she refused to leave with the one teacher. Her IEP states if she refuses to leave with staff person, she will be asked to leave with the administrator, and if she does not further action will be taken. She was sent home another time for stretching in class and her ruler hitting the arm of the boy next to her. Then she was sent home a third time for pushing a girl's hand out of her face. So, all in all, she is doing pretty good. I didn't understand why they were wanting to alter the BIP so that they could get rid of her. But then they have been trying to get rid of her since she started school.
Thanks for any help from anybody.
mistmouse
