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Should grandparent be paid to watch
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 752830" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I'm a grandparent and I can see it both ways. </p><p></p><p>If you were not watching the child then they would have to pay someone else.</p><p></p><p>If you need the money then yes, they should be paying you. </p><p></p><p>If it were me and I could watch my grandchildren without any financial hardship then I would do it for free, however I would not be cleaning, cooking or doing any laundry. I understand your heart is in the right place wanting it to be nice for daughter when she comes homes but this really borders on enabling. That being said, if my babysitting was not appreciated with verbal "thank you's" and I felt like I was being used, then I would have a conversation about it because at that point, it is enabling. </p><p></p><p>I understand this can be a delicate issue and you do not want to jeopardize the relationship you have with your grandchild. I think you need to sit down with your daughter and have a conversation about this. </p><p>I would only discuss the issue of payment. I would not bring up the fact that you have been cleaning, etc.... because you did that on your own and was not part of the "agreement" of you watching your grandchild. Don't get me wrong, your efforts should have been appreciated but because they weren't there is not point in going there and I would absolutely stop doing that. You may want to consider cutting back on the amount of days you can watch her as this will force the issue with your daughter and the boyfriend that they will need to pay someone else.</p><p>Boundaries are needed here. You went into this with the best of intentions but you did not set any boundaries so there was no clear expectation of how this would work. It's easy to "assume" with family that things will just work out but in reality, when dealing with family we need more than ever to have clear boundaries in place.</p><p></p><p>I wish you all the best!! Please let us know how things go.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 752830, member: 18516"] I'm a grandparent and I can see it both ways. If you were not watching the child then they would have to pay someone else. If you need the money then yes, they should be paying you. If it were me and I could watch my grandchildren without any financial hardship then I would do it for free, however I would not be cleaning, cooking or doing any laundry. I understand your heart is in the right place wanting it to be nice for daughter when she comes homes but this really borders on enabling. That being said, if my babysitting was not appreciated with verbal "thank you's" and I felt like I was being used, then I would have a conversation about it because at that point, it is enabling. I understand this can be a delicate issue and you do not want to jeopardize the relationship you have with your grandchild. I think you need to sit down with your daughter and have a conversation about this. I would only discuss the issue of payment. I would not bring up the fact that you have been cleaning, etc.... because you did that on your own and was not part of the "agreement" of you watching your grandchild. Don't get me wrong, your efforts should have been appreciated but because they weren't there is not point in going there and I would absolutely stop doing that. You may want to consider cutting back on the amount of days you can watch her as this will force the issue with your daughter and the boyfriend that they will need to pay someone else. Boundaries are needed here. You went into this with the best of intentions but you did not set any boundaries so there was no clear expectation of how this would work. It's easy to "assume" with family that things will just work out but in reality, when dealing with family we need more than ever to have clear boundaries in place. I wish you all the best!! Please let us know how things go. [/QUOTE]
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