background info: 18yr difficult child was placed voluntarily into foster care 3yrs ago. we could not longer handle her after exhausted every possibility we could to get her help.
3 mths ago difficult child met this boy and decided they wanted a child. (which I find very hard to believe coz difficult child has always said she never wanted a child) she likes the attention on her 24/7. she is getting the attention she craves now because she is preggers. but I have a bad feeling that once this child is born she will neglect it. she is emtionally, socially and mentally delayed.
18yr difficult child was released from foster care (she requested to be released on her own) because she's 12-14 weeks pregnant . the father of the unborn baby parents offered difficult child to move in with them. so as of last week she has been living with her boy friend and his family. difficult child was told she has to pay half of the rent, she gets to have 2 bedrooms of the 5 bedroom house, she will share all of her WIC food and pay for half of the trip to California. the day difficult child was released she and her new in-laws and b/f went to California for a week. difficult child had savings which is gone now. stopping by at Disney and staying in 4 hotels and gambling in Mesquite.
I have a weird vibe from difficult child's new in-laws. they don't want anyone coming to their home. they are way to accepting of my difficult child and don't care about her history and I'm not the only one thinking this. difficult child's foster mom says the same thing. difficult child and her b/f were both in self contained classrooms at their school. they were separated by gender, kids that are court ordered go there unless they have severe mental health problems and have tried everything else before they can get into the self contained classroom. apparently difficult child's b/f was wrongly accused of something and ended up there (is the story I'm being fed).
the day before they were due to return back home (aug 20) from California I receive a phone call from difficult child telling me "they" (as in her b/friend and his family and extended family) have set a date to get married (sept 20). b/f's grandma who is in California is making the wedding dress and has already taken the measurements.
her b/f is 17yrs old. b/f's mother wants him to work (currently has 2 jobs paying minimum wage) while difficult child goes to school (because medical, dental etc and her education is paid for till she is 21yrs by the state). difficult child is learning disabled, and doesn't have any intention of going to college. difficult child's boyfriend has a history of his own that no-one is willing to share with us. difficult child graduated but her b/friend was suppose to be a senior this yr but has dropped out of school.
these 2 kids don't know how to go about organizing a wedding so I'm thinking difficult child's mother-in-law might walk them through it. by going to the courthouse or whatever you have to do in the States in order to get married. yesterday when they arrived home from california i asked difficult child is she is going to inquire about college.. she said she needs time to settle in. her b/friend was playing playstation 2 at the time.
I know b/f's family is low income and they have no sense of how to manage money wisely. difficult child's mother-in-law has constantly bought baby items at garage sales as soon as she found out difficult child was 5 weeks preggers (which seems very weird to me) she takes her son along with her to buy baby items and shows difficult child later. difficult child isn't too happy about not having a say in the decision making when it comes to the baby stuff. the in-laws are telling her all sorts of crap from what sex the baby is.... to ...she is having twins and because her b/f is half native American "they are never wrong".
I'm wondering, should I pay for this wedding? difficult child isn't working. she wants something low key, but then mentions renting out a hall. difficult child wants $500 extensions in her hair. (in the last yr she has had the extensions twice, she has paid for them on her own by working at McDonalds but she no longer works). no-one from our side of the family will be going just his side of the family (which is ok by me coz my in-laws are anti social controlling fruitcakes anyway) and my family is all back in Australia. husband says they as in difficult child and her b/f haven't done one thing traditional yet, so why should we pay for difficult children wedding and it seems as though b/f's family have taken over everything, but we have a feeling we will be hit up for cash real soon.
advice please.....
Masta
3 mths ago difficult child met this boy and decided they wanted a child. (which I find very hard to believe coz difficult child has always said she never wanted a child) she likes the attention on her 24/7. she is getting the attention she craves now because she is preggers. but I have a bad feeling that once this child is born she will neglect it. she is emtionally, socially and mentally delayed.
18yr difficult child was released from foster care (she requested to be released on her own) because she's 12-14 weeks pregnant . the father of the unborn baby parents offered difficult child to move in with them. so as of last week she has been living with her boy friend and his family. difficult child was told she has to pay half of the rent, she gets to have 2 bedrooms of the 5 bedroom house, she will share all of her WIC food and pay for half of the trip to California. the day difficult child was released she and her new in-laws and b/f went to California for a week. difficult child had savings which is gone now. stopping by at Disney and staying in 4 hotels and gambling in Mesquite.
I have a weird vibe from difficult child's new in-laws. they don't want anyone coming to their home. they are way to accepting of my difficult child and don't care about her history and I'm not the only one thinking this. difficult child's foster mom says the same thing. difficult child and her b/f were both in self contained classrooms at their school. they were separated by gender, kids that are court ordered go there unless they have severe mental health problems and have tried everything else before they can get into the self contained classroom. apparently difficult child's b/f was wrongly accused of something and ended up there (is the story I'm being fed).
the day before they were due to return back home (aug 20) from California I receive a phone call from difficult child telling me "they" (as in her b/friend and his family and extended family) have set a date to get married (sept 20). b/f's grandma who is in California is making the wedding dress and has already taken the measurements.
her b/f is 17yrs old. b/f's mother wants him to work (currently has 2 jobs paying minimum wage) while difficult child goes to school (because medical, dental etc and her education is paid for till she is 21yrs by the state). difficult child is learning disabled, and doesn't have any intention of going to college. difficult child's boyfriend has a history of his own that no-one is willing to share with us. difficult child graduated but her b/friend was suppose to be a senior this yr but has dropped out of school.
these 2 kids don't know how to go about organizing a wedding so I'm thinking difficult child's mother-in-law might walk them through it. by going to the courthouse or whatever you have to do in the States in order to get married. yesterday when they arrived home from california i asked difficult child is she is going to inquire about college.. she said she needs time to settle in. her b/friend was playing playstation 2 at the time.
I know b/f's family is low income and they have no sense of how to manage money wisely. difficult child's mother-in-law has constantly bought baby items at garage sales as soon as she found out difficult child was 5 weeks preggers (which seems very weird to me) she takes her son along with her to buy baby items and shows difficult child later. difficult child isn't too happy about not having a say in the decision making when it comes to the baby stuff. the in-laws are telling her all sorts of crap from what sex the baby is.... to ...she is having twins and because her b/f is half native American "they are never wrong".
I'm wondering, should I pay for this wedding? difficult child isn't working. she wants something low key, but then mentions renting out a hall. difficult child wants $500 extensions in her hair. (in the last yr she has had the extensions twice, she has paid for them on her own by working at McDonalds but she no longer works). no-one from our side of the family will be going just his side of the family (which is ok by me coz my in-laws are anti social controlling fruitcakes anyway) and my family is all back in Australia. husband says they as in difficult child and her b/f haven't done one thing traditional yet, so why should we pay for difficult children wedding and it seems as though b/f's family have taken over everything, but we have a feeling we will be hit up for cash real soon.
advice please.....
Masta
