To this, I would add that people who are very healthy seem to have unbreachable boundaries without an iota of guilt.
Not that situations are not complex to them, but that they have an unerring instinct, not for "This is right for me, and I deserve, and you blah, blah, blah.", but for "This is fair."
Simple.
And I think they never think of it again.
I see that in D H.
That concept of what is "fair" is how he guides himself in all his dealings.
I think that must be what a healthy boundary looks like.
No blame.
Cedar