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Sister of explosive child
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 488321" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hello, please listen to your new friends here. Many of us have felt stuck and hopeless as you do. LOTS of us have pushed through debilitating anxiety.</p><p></p><p>some thoughts...and I may be older than you...but I have learned things, so please know things haven't changed in terms of relationships.</p><p></p><p>1. Your toughts affect your feelings. This is not psychobabble. If you tell yourself that you can't do something, you cant imagine it etc... you will not do it. You are over identifying with your mother, it seems. One thing is clear, and many of us have to remind each other about this...because we all do it:</p><p></p><p>You can only change YOURSELF. You are not your families therapist. The best way to help is to DEMONSTRATE how to move past a bad situation. Talk is cheap. </p><p>IT is time to set some boundaries and to show them.</p><p></p><p>2. even if you cant go to a shelter, you CAN use the services of a domestic violence center. </p><p></p><p>3. Social services, vocational rehabilitation services will help you if you have a diagnosis. It seems you do since you have seen all those professionals.</p><p></p><p>4. Do not put yourself in the situation of going between your family members. They do not look at you as you are trying to present to them. They will not listen to you because you are not the mom, you are the sister. You are the daughter. Don't need dad to call, I have a phone phobia too...guess what, you HAVE to do it. </p><p>And I am not being mean, I am really teling you from one who has heart palpitations etc. But the amazing thing is when you do it, it gives you a TON of energy and wanting to do a little tiny bit more.</p><p></p><p>5. so I tried to say to you, do ONE little thing. When I read your post, I got exhausted myself, LOL (please knwo I am not laughing at you... laugh with me, you read it and see what you think, smile!) YOu are an amazing person, as Malika said, you are articulate and talented, and clearly you have a good handle on human nature. You could start blogging..my cousin does that (she is at the random blogette for an example, she wants women to be proud of being moms and not to hate their bodies, so for her it came out of pain too). You could be anonymous or do it on your own time , etc.</p><p></p><p>6. I think you are a perfect candidate for JOB CORPS! <a href="http://recruiting.jobcorps.gov/en/home.aspx" target="_blank">Job Corps</a></p><p></p><p>You get free lodging and schooling or training. CALL these people! Please, the world needs a strong heart like yours out there. I think there is an amazing future for you. YOu just need to have your board aunties do what your mom and dad birds are not able to help you with... pushing you out of the nest a little bit. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Keep checking in.... you do not deserve this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 488321, member: 12886"] Hello, please listen to your new friends here. Many of us have felt stuck and hopeless as you do. LOTS of us have pushed through debilitating anxiety. some thoughts...and I may be older than you...but I have learned things, so please know things haven't changed in terms of relationships. 1. Your toughts affect your feelings. This is not psychobabble. If you tell yourself that you can't do something, you cant imagine it etc... you will not do it. You are over identifying with your mother, it seems. One thing is clear, and many of us have to remind each other about this...because we all do it: You can only change YOURSELF. You are not your families therapist. The best way to help is to DEMONSTRATE how to move past a bad situation. Talk is cheap. IT is time to set some boundaries and to show them. 2. even if you cant go to a shelter, you CAN use the services of a domestic violence center. 3. Social services, vocational rehabilitation services will help you if you have a diagnosis. It seems you do since you have seen all those professionals. 4. Do not put yourself in the situation of going between your family members. They do not look at you as you are trying to present to them. They will not listen to you because you are not the mom, you are the sister. You are the daughter. Don't need dad to call, I have a phone phobia too...guess what, you HAVE to do it. And I am not being mean, I am really teling you from one who has heart palpitations etc. But the amazing thing is when you do it, it gives you a TON of energy and wanting to do a little tiny bit more. 5. so I tried to say to you, do ONE little thing. When I read your post, I got exhausted myself, LOL (please knwo I am not laughing at you... laugh with me, you read it and see what you think, smile!) YOu are an amazing person, as Malika said, you are articulate and talented, and clearly you have a good handle on human nature. You could start blogging..my cousin does that (she is at the random blogette for an example, she wants women to be proud of being moms and not to hate their bodies, so for her it came out of pain too). You could be anonymous or do it on your own time , etc. 6. I think you are a perfect candidate for JOB CORPS! [url=http://recruiting.jobcorps.gov/en/home.aspx]Job Corps[/url] You get free lodging and schooling or training. CALL these people! Please, the world needs a strong heart like yours out there. I think there is an amazing future for you. YOu just need to have your board aunties do what your mom and dad birds are not able to help you with... pushing you out of the nest a little bit. Keep checking in.... you do not deserve this. [/QUOTE]
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