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Substance Abuse
So tired of this life
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 744023" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Why would you do this if he is not demonstrating willingness to program in the way that the treatment staff believe is best for his welfare? Maybe I misunderstand but I see him dictating what he will or will not do. In my experience the experts typically understand what is required, rather than the addict, who is driven by the substance.</p><p>What does this tell you?</p><p>Why would it get his attention, if he does not choose to quit?</p><p></p><p>This is what I mean. He may want to continue drinking. If he does, he will drink, regardless of what you do or do not do, regardless what you want or do not want. </p><p>Who got him in this situation? He has told you over and over again that he is not committed to making choices commensurate with sustaining recovery. Many, many people, maybe the majority, quit alcohol without expensive life coaches, therapists, or even programs. They do so with AA. He could also be supervised by an MD. These methods may not be optimal, but then, most people have to make do with less than optimal, and they make it work because they desire to quit. Your son seems to be balking at actions that would make the investment in expensive therapists and life coaches, to be good money spent.</p><p></p><p>There is an elephant in the living room: Your son has to want to stop drinking and to do whatever it takes to recover. Or not.</p><p></p><p>You continue to believe, it seems, that there is a way that your wanting and your fear, have a place in this process and that he should listen to you. How well has that worked so far?</p><p></p><p>This is a man who has a job, is paying his bills, and he is supporting himself. He insists upon making decisions over his own treatment, and to believe that he has the right to do so. He seems to disagree with you about the terms of his treatment. It appears that you do not accept either his right to make decisions about his life. You seem to believe that if you keep impressing upon him your own ideas, he will change his mind.</p><p></p><p>What about your own health? You are miserable. How much longer will you keep this up?</p><p></p><p>The only recovery you have control over is your own. I wish it was different. It is not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 744023, member: 18958"] Why would you do this if he is not demonstrating willingness to program in the way that the treatment staff believe is best for his welfare? Maybe I misunderstand but I see him dictating what he will or will not do. In my experience the experts typically understand what is required, rather than the addict, who is driven by the substance. What does this tell you? Why would it get his attention, if he does not choose to quit? This is what I mean. He may want to continue drinking. If he does, he will drink, regardless of what you do or do not do, regardless what you want or do not want. Who got him in this situation? He has told you over and over again that he is not committed to making choices commensurate with sustaining recovery. Many, many people, maybe the majority, quit alcohol without expensive life coaches, therapists, or even programs. They do so with AA. He could also be supervised by an MD. These methods may not be optimal, but then, most people have to make do with less than optimal, and they make it work because they desire to quit. Your son seems to be balking at actions that would make the investment in expensive therapists and life coaches, to be good money spent. There is an elephant in the living room: Your son has to want to stop drinking and to do whatever it takes to recover. Or not. You continue to believe, it seems, that there is a way that your wanting and your fear, have a place in this process and that he should listen to you. How well has that worked so far? This is a man who has a job, is paying his bills, and he is supporting himself. He insists upon making decisions over his own treatment, and to believe that he has the right to do so. He seems to disagree with you about the terms of his treatment. It appears that you do not accept either his right to make decisions about his life. You seem to believe that if you keep impressing upon him your own ideas, he will change his mind. What about your own health? You are miserable. How much longer will you keep this up? The only recovery you have control over is your own. I wish it was different. It is not. [/QUOTE]
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