So today the Sh#* hit the fan

[DaisyC1234]

I have posted in a while, things were going ok. Then she decided to leave her kids for almost 3 weeks and expects us to just bow down to her demands. My dad has since taken the car away that they loaned her and they don't pay for a phone anymore. She still living rent free. My mom is afraid of bad credit since she co-signed. Daughter has until September to figure out what she will do.

So after threatening to call the cops on me and Grace's dad because we wouldn't deliver the kids to her, Mar's dad has decided to file for full custody. I said I would pay for the paralegal to get the papers filled out. We are meeting with her today and she's filing them tomorrow. My daughter has since asked that I not ever speak to her ever again. I won't respond to her. I will only block her on FB messenger.

I fell on a trip back from Colorado and broke my patella in half and had to have surgery, well guess who stole my pain pills, good thing I had extra pills and didn't need them very long.

Sorry just needed to put this here. I feel a sense of relief but sort of heartbroken too, because the grands really love their mom and I just feel really sad for them. For Mar this normal and it shouldn't be.

 

[BusynMember1]

I am so very sorry for your pain and all that you went through. It sounds so very difficult and heartbreaking.

Love those kids. They do love Mom, but they love you too...you are their hero and the one who hugs them at night. Bless your wonderful heart.

Your daughter may come around one day.

Love and prayers.

 

[Blindsided]

My daughter has since asked that I not ever speak to her ever again. I won't respond to her. I will only block her on FB messenger

Daisy, if we only had a dollar everytime we heard this from our Difficult Child. I have been all those places but my Difficult Child didnt have children. However, now, that 41 y.o. Difficult Child is pregnant (tried for years and supposedly why she abuses alcohol). She is off everything, alcohol and Rx drugs. I am choosing to stay supportive and positive as long as she does what she should and put her baby first, but I cant go all in like a normal mother/daughter relationship. I forgive her, but I have been traumatized. I hate this for you, I understand your need to protect yourself too. Praying for you to find the strength to stay the course.

 

[Crayola13]

I'm sorry about your knee. I'm even more sorry that your daughter stole your pain pills. I hope she doesn't get hooked. The court will probably declare her an unfit parent for taking off. I agree, it's very sad that your oldest granddaughter considers this normal.

 

[ChickPea]

Sorry. I hear you. Sometimes it just helps to feel you've been heard.

I am choosing to stay supportive and positive as long as she does what she should and put her baby first, but I cant go all in like a normal mother/daughter relationship. I forgive her, but I have been traumatized.

The part about being traumatized resonates with me. I feel like someone's punching bag and I'm expected to still be their friend. It's very horrible.

 

[JMom]

Hi Daisy,
Hugs to you. You are doing a lot of good things and I know someone appreciates it, even if your treated like crud.
JMOM

 

[Beta]

Daisy,
I'm sorry for what you're going through. I'm also sorry about your injury and I hope you're healing well.

 

[DaisyC1234]

Thank you Beta, JMom, ChickPea, Crayola13, Blindsided, BusynMember.

Today I feel more anxious about the situation, sad really. She's been trying to contact the Dads and wants the kids, and I just feel so sad for her. I know she must be upset and frustrated, but at he same time she brought this on herself and it never had to be this way if she just understood her behavior and poor decision making was leading up to this.

 

[ChickPea]

I know she must be upset and frustrated, but at he same time she brought this on herself and it never had to be this way if she just understood her behavior and poor decision making was leading up to this.

Ugh. Yes, yes, yes.
I re-read your post and had a little heart tug when I read your last sentence about the grandbabies and how they love her. I'm sorry that this is their normal.

 

[Blindsided]

Sorry. I hear you. Sometimes it just helps to feel you've been heard.
That is so true.


The part about being traumatized resonates with me. I feel like someone's punching bag and I'm expected to still be their friend. It's very horrible.

I think that is part of the enabling thing. I take stuff because I hate confrontation, but I am getting better at demanding what I need.