Pigless, my heart goes out to you, having to go through the emotions (up and down I'm sure) of the hospital and then listening to him on the phone. Those phone calls when they are crying out for us to "do something" are wrenching to the pits of our souls and hearts. I remember them, and hearing your story takes me back there.
I am so glad that he is on anti depressants and is seeing a psychiatrist. I believe those two things would have helped my Difficult Child tremendously at some point, when things began to be hard for him, before he started self-medicating due to his depression and anxiety and immaturity (and whatever else was going on). Both of my sons are introverts and fitting in is hard. In high school everybody just wants to fit in, and when alcohol and drugs are so free, it seems like a solution to help that. Also my son felt we were too strict in high school so there was oppositional defiance going on with him too for a long time. Whatever. Multiple reasons he did what he did, including having the genetic predisposition, like your son does. My son has it from both sides of our family.
In any event, I tried desperately to get him to get help, even to the point of literally pulling him out of bed, pushing him into the car, driving him there and then...he would sit there for the whole hour and not say one single word. He would not take anti depressants. Or do anything that I suggested, period.
So...I'm so happy to hear you say there are steps here that he is taking. I hope and pray he will continue.
And like others have said, this appears to be his journey. When we stop, take a step back, and think about all of the people we know who are struggling with so many different things, we start to see that everybody is walking a very very imperfect path. There are no perfect paths. I don't know that my Pollyanna self was thinking all those years when I thought all families were "normal" (Like Father Knows Best) and then was devastated to find mine wasn't, isn't, and would never be "normal". When my son went to jail, I couldn't even get my mind around it. Nobody I had ever known had gone to jail (yes I was sheltered). I had to get over myself first, through much of this. I was a huge barrier to him and to me and to achieving peace and serenity. That's why I benefitted so much from Al-Anon. I had a lot of growing up to do myself and to change my ways of thinking and behaving and I learned how to do it there over a period of years.
Please keep sharing here. We so understand the pain and fear and confusion and despair of all of this. I am praying that your son continues to get help.
