Son in Hospital ~ Overdose

[Im a Believer]

Hi Everyone ~ My difficult child #4 was taken to Hospital this afternoon - He just went to live with his dad a few weeks ago with the intent of "straightening up" so I'm unclear of the details.

He took 23 Ibuprofen along with Cocaine ~ His EKG showed a "bundle" in his heart area (unsure of what that is altho it was explained to me) so they are keeping him overnight in the hospital and perform another EKG in the morning before he is transfered to a Mental Health facility for a psychiatric evaluation.

He says he is tired of it all ~ Our family is so estranged - my kids have felt like they have to pick sides and most of the time I feel like I am on a roller coaster - never sure if someone is mad at me.

I was married for 20 years to my children's father and it was a very abusive situation and my ex never respected me so of course my children do not.

Their father is very inappropriate with comments to them .

I hope now we will be brought into family counceling but doubt it will change my ex - He is a Narcissist and blames me for everything.

He even made rude comments to the doctors today in front of our son as he lay on the bed - "Joe- you haven't done drugs since you've been with me - right? You did those when you lived with your mom."

Like I said - I feel like I'm on a roller coaster and I have motion sickness ~ lol

Thanks for letting me vent ~ Judy

 

[Jena]

Judy

I"m sorry to hear that, i'll say a prayer that he will be ok. I"m sorry your ex is who he is and i'm sorry your difficult child is living with him. Just let your ex's remarks roll off you if you can.

Sending you support, keep us posted and let us know how he is.

(((hugs))))

 

[Suz]

I'm so sorry, Judy. It appears that he didn't straighten up like your ex wants to brag that he did at his house. So scary. I'm very glad that he will get evaluated and I will send every good thought that it will be helpful.

Suz

 

[Im a Believer]

Jennifer and Suz ~ Thank You!

 

[Andy]

How awful. So glad he got help quickly! Sending hugs and strengt!

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Sending strength to you and prayers for your son!

 

[everywoman]

So sorry to hear this. A big hug for you and prayers that your son will find the will to fight.

 

[Hound dog]

Judy

I'm so sorry. Glad he was able to get help quickly. (((hugs))) I hope the "bundle" turns out to be nothing serious and that this kicks in some good help for both difficult child and the family.

Saying prayers for both you and difficult child.

 

[Fran]

What a sad situation. I'm sorry for your pain.

 

[KTMom91]

Judy, I'm so sorry. Sending hugs and prayers that he'll recover quickly.

 

[goldenguru]

Hi Judy -

So sorry for what your family is going through. It must be especially difficult being the holidays and all.

May God give peace to your troubled heart.

 

[BusynMember]

So sorry for your pain. Sending you lots of warm thoughts and prayers.

 

[janebrain]

I'm so sorry to hear this, Judy. Please come vent at any time and know we are here to help in any way we can.
Hugs,
Jane

 

[judi]

Judy - so very sorry. A bundle branch block in his EKG can be a sign of cocaine use. Its important to get a follow-up EKG. Your physician will be able to provide you with more info.

Please take care....

 

[Im a Believer]

Thank You for allyour prayers and well wishes ~
Have a WONDEFUL Day!!
Judy

 

[rejectedmom]

I am so very sorry that your son did this instead of calling a Crisis line but glad that he got good help quickly after he made the poor decision of attempting suicide. My difficult child 2 has made a few feeble attempts. It is so very scary and so hard not to become emeshed again afer such a happening. I agree with you that narcissists rarely change even with counseling. My mother in law was one and I was her scape goat for 30 years. She spread such venom and was "always right". Unfortunately my difficult child 1 tends toward the same behavior. The only thing I can suggest is how you react to the garbage. It gets so tiresome trying to defend onself from such a person. I learned to just say "That is your (his, her) version of reality but mine is very different. There is always more than one way of looking at things." I understand both your pain and your frustration. -RM

 

[DDD]

Sending hugs and caring prayers your way. DDD

 

[hearts and roses]

{{Judy}} I'm so sorry that this happened, but glad that your son may be getting the help he needs. Like someone else said, you need to find a way to let exh's words roll off your back. It's just not important in the grand scheme of things.

Last year I sent my difficult child to live with her dad for a mere 5 weeks because I just couldn't stand her and she was miserable too, abusive, etc. Anyway, during the first two weeks I spoke with my exh plenty and he always ended the conversation about how, "No, she seems really good, she's filling out applications, she seems happy and she's trying to be helpful. I wake her up every day before I go to work, etc"....meanwhile, I was watching her myspace and knew what she was really doing all day and it wasn't very productive or helpful in any way. She was badmouthing all of her parents and making plans to run away or have a friend meet her at the ferry to take her back to her loser friends. By the end of 5 weeks, my exh somehow managed to blame me for the failed attempt of getting difficult child back on track even after it was he that literally told me "I give up, I don't know what else to do" (he hadn't really done anything at all as of that point, as he was used to only having my girls for vacations only, never daily parenting). difficult child moved back home where she behaved for a little bit, but was back to her same old antics and hanging with the wrong crowd within months. She's had some progress but it's always one step forward and two steps back. She lived at friend's houses off and on for a while as well. My exh is pretty compliant with me and my decisions in regards to the girls, yet he always manages to find a way of saying just the thing to undermine me in their eyes or make it seem like I am the crazy one. He even goes so far as to say this out loud to them and make funny faces. I learned that I have no control over him or his comments and actions, but I do have control over me and mine. So that's what you have to stick with.
You do the right thing by your son and hope that your son does the right thing as well. He may not get it now, but in years to come he will hopefully be able to think logically about why you left your abusive exh in search of a more peaceful life. And it he doesn't oh well, his loss. Sounds mean I know, but after a while, especially as your kids enter adulthood, you realize that you can only do the best you can with what you know. The rest is truly up to them.

Hugs.

 

[Star*]

IAB,

I am so sorry your family is in crisis. I do know how it feels to have your children be told by their father that EVERY thing bad and wrong about their lives is YOUR fault. I think there must be an express lane to hades for these men. I really hope there is. I hope I have a can of lighter fluid to "cheer" him on with as he flys by me.

I also know how it feels to have a child attempt suicide. Sadly - for that there is nothing you can do to help them other than put tools in their way to get themselves help. I think despite the unfortunate circumstances surrounding the overdose - it was a cry for help. So here's hoping he gets that help and uses the tools available to him to heal.

Speaking of healing - I think if you have not already, should find a really good therapist or psychiatrist and get yourself some therapy for your own PTSD. The old addage "if Momma ain't happy, ain't no body happy." really hits home here because if you aren't the best person YOU can be, your kids won't be either.

One of the best gifts I ever gave myself or my son was to find my mental health (or what's left of it) and my self esteem. I learned how to stand up for myself, fight fair and mostly how to not allow my x to have any power over me whatsoever. Once my son saw that his biofather had no hold? It was easier for HIM to let go and find himself.

Just know you have friends here - ones who WILL offer you a refill for your Zippo and hand you a match when you need it.

Hugs
Star

 

[Im a Believer]

Thanks again - It is so encouraging to know I am not alone!

Judy