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Substance Abuse
Son is in Jail
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<blockquote data-quote="Littleboylost" data-source="post: 723530" data-attributes="member: 21895"><p>Thank you Copa. Today is a fatigue day. Husband is gone for business. I have a job interview I am heading out to (worst timing ever!). I have been in my own head and wrestling with the FOG.</p><p></p><p> I suppose it’s a natural unnatural process. When I look at the ugly side of life such as the size of the jail he is in, 100 Football Fields in size. A Super jail by Canadian standards. I am not so special. </p><p></p><p>A dear friend asked me how I think parents of murderers and pedophiles cope. Good question it got me out of my own head and panic/Pitty party mode. </p><p></p><p>FOG is Steven King thick. Need to find a way through it. There is no way around this, I have to go through it. </p><p></p><p>Naranon meeting tonight. It is not my favorite support, this forum and a few close sage Srug moms are primary. Ur if I come home for the evening I fear the FOG will deep inside my head again. Preventative maintenance. </p><p></p><p>I journal here. It helps. And I in turn I hope it helps others. </p><p></p><p>The deciept still rocks me. I can understand the impulse grab of tempting money for the addict. But this calculated, premeditated repetitive theft while boldly worming his way back into our home; it still makes me feel faint and physically ill. It comes in waves. </p><p></p><p>Will jail be his bottom? Will he ever hit bottom? Who knows. Is he safe. I hope so. He is certainly the poor boy in the prison pod. I am not putting any money on his books so he can barter for contra-ban and drugs. </p><p></p><p>If this hardens him further this is his choice. If this provides to be a road to salvation this is his choice. This is his choice. </p><p></p><p>I will Greive and no longer in perpetuity, the boy I knew is gone. He will never come back to me. There will always be a barrier of suspicion and doubt always. </p><p></p><p>Deep breathing and meditation helps. </p><p></p><p>I send energy to the universe to help him find his way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Littleboylost, post: 723530, member: 21895"] Thank you Copa. Today is a fatigue day. Husband is gone for business. I have a job interview I am heading out to (worst timing ever!). I have been in my own head and wrestling with the FOG. I suppose it’s a natural unnatural process. When I look at the ugly side of life such as the size of the jail he is in, 100 Football Fields in size. A Super jail by Canadian standards. I am not so special. A dear friend asked me how I think parents of murderers and pedophiles cope. Good question it got me out of my own head and panic/Pitty party mode. FOG is Steven King thick. Need to find a way through it. There is no way around this, I have to go through it. Naranon meeting tonight. It is not my favorite support, this forum and a few close sage Srug moms are primary. Ur if I come home for the evening I fear the FOG will deep inside my head again. Preventative maintenance. I journal here. It helps. And I in turn I hope it helps others. The deciept still rocks me. I can understand the impulse grab of tempting money for the addict. But this calculated, premeditated repetitive theft while boldly worming his way back into our home; it still makes me feel faint and physically ill. It comes in waves. Will jail be his bottom? Will he ever hit bottom? Who knows. Is he safe. I hope so. He is certainly the poor boy in the prison pod. I am not putting any money on his books so he can barter for contra-ban and drugs. If this hardens him further this is his choice. If this provides to be a road to salvation this is his choice. This is his choice. I will Greive and no longer in perpetuity, the boy I knew is gone. He will never come back to me. There will always be a barrier of suspicion and doubt always. Deep breathing and meditation helps. I send energy to the universe to help him find his way. [/QUOTE]
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