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Substance Abuse
Son/ marriage problems/ resentment
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 757497" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Helpless</p><p></p><p>This is so hard. My current husband of 28 years is the father of my once difficult son but also a stepfather to my older son who is now 33. I always felt like my husband did not love him as his own and also my husband is not a soft and deep feeling person (was not raised like that but no excuses here). He is a great provider and always puts his family first and I have come to see that he truly does love my older son (who was always a good boy/no problems). I sometimes resented my husband but blended families are VERY difficult.</p><p></p><p>Don't put your husband on one end and YOUR son on the other. That will not end well. I agree that your husband is trying to protect the family as a whole and although you know your son's heart and that he probably doesn't want to "be this way" (I did that with youngest Difficult Child too) from what you have posted here, he does not seem ready to change and be a part of your family. He will put you in a horrible position I fear.</p><p></p><p>You cannot rush the learning process of what your son is going through DUE TO HIS OWN ACTIONS. Remember that. Your son is young but he knows right from wrong. HE KNOWS RIGHT FROM WRONG. Like my son once did, he is choosing wrong again and again - and this is only what I have seen here. I do not know your family obviously. He is playing on your guilt.</p><p></p><p>I agree that this is TOO MUCH for you to handle on your own. You are too close to it and too emotional. I agree that you and husband should see someone that specializes in addiction to come to an agreement that you both can be happy with. I would NOT even attempt to try this on my own.</p><p></p><p>I know this is probably not what you want to hear but I am thinking of your troubled son also. I know that when we let our emotions rule it does not help them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 757497, member: 15032"] Helpless This is so hard. My current husband of 28 years is the father of my once difficult son but also a stepfather to my older son who is now 33. I always felt like my husband did not love him as his own and also my husband is not a soft and deep feeling person (was not raised like that but no excuses here). He is a great provider and always puts his family first and I have come to see that he truly does love my older son (who was always a good boy/no problems). I sometimes resented my husband but blended families are VERY difficult. Don't put your husband on one end and YOUR son on the other. That will not end well. I agree that your husband is trying to protect the family as a whole and although you know your son's heart and that he probably doesn't want to "be this way" (I did that with youngest Difficult Child too) from what you have posted here, he does not seem ready to change and be a part of your family. He will put you in a horrible position I fear. You cannot rush the learning process of what your son is going through DUE TO HIS OWN ACTIONS. Remember that. Your son is young but he knows right from wrong. HE KNOWS RIGHT FROM WRONG. Like my son once did, he is choosing wrong again and again - and this is only what I have seen here. I do not know your family obviously. He is playing on your guilt. I agree that this is TOO MUCH for you to handle on your own. You are too close to it and too emotional. I agree that you and husband should see someone that specializes in addiction to come to an agreement that you both can be happy with. I would NOT even attempt to try this on my own. I know this is probably not what you want to hear but I am thinking of your troubled son also. I know that when we let our emotions rule it does not help them. [/QUOTE]
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