Son took a taxi to the hospital for assessment.....

[MommaTried24]

My homeless son finally listened and took a taxi with his two bags of clothes and a backpack to the hospital to be admitted for inpatient evaluation. He had a seizure in the ER lobby when he got there and they pulled him through triage and immediately admitted him. Praying he stays and they get him in a program for help.

 

[MommaTried24]

They discharged him this morning at 5:30 am with a bus ticket to a homeless shelter. Praying that's what he did since they have a Life Recovery Program there to help him. I'm letting go and letting God and saying no news from him is good news.

 

[ksm]

All this is so hard...there is help if they will take it...I told my husband I feel like I am frozen...even though I don't feel like I am stressing over it, it just seems hard to concentrate and comprehend what other decisions we need to make. Today, we selected our supplemental plan for Medicare Part B, drug plan, vision plan and dental! Even though we have been old enough for years to switch to medicare, we kept a federal BCBS that he had when he was working, so that our adopted grands could stay on our family insurance policy. The older has aged off our policy, and the youngest also has a Medicaid state ins card so she wont be without coverage. But she makes appointments that she never keeps and has Rx she never takes!

All that is overwhelming! Plus we had to make some decisions about investments to change to more conservative options and had to sign off on that. We got our flu and COVID vaccines today. We decided to sign up for a columbarium space for our ashes once we pass...and our church has a garden wall with a plaque with names on it. We have thought about it for a long time. And we did early voting for the election. So many decisions that will affect the rest of our lives.

And I'm just done. In about an hour we will pick up GGS from school and he will want to play or go to a park...and one day cycles in to the next. And I'm wondering where is his mom...is she safe...why is she doing this??? And it's hard to find any serenity.
Ksm

Ksm

 

[Copabanana]

And I'm wondering where is his mom...is she safe...why is she doing this??? And it's hard to find any serenity.

Hi ksm. At first thought I wanted to react by advising you to detach, and in that second I realized that was not what I wanted to say or needed to say. I was wrong. I needed to say something else.

A number of years ago, I did detach. Something horrible happened to me in my house and I saw that I had no choice. After awhile I could go through entire days and weeks without agonizing about my son. He began to feel as if he was somebody apart from me. I knew I loved him but I did not feel my love each day. I had become disembodied from my love, along with the detachment.

My psychologist said at one point. You are searching for a way to still love your son. His saying that appalled me. I stuffed it.

A week or so ago M said this, (and we all reacted). He said: you have to find a way to be a mother to Joseph. He either implied or directly said something like that. That I was abrogating my responsibilities as a mother to my son. Who needed me.

The upshot is we told my son he could come back to the apartment, this time without M. He could live there alone. And it was a trial period for all three of us.

It's been rocky but he's still there.

Why am I writing all of this on your thread? Because I see now that all along you've never stopped living your love and care for your daughter. I believe you have either been unwilling or unable to detach in the way I did from my son. And this is a good thing, but a very hard thing. I don't know what else to say, but I am beginning to see that detachment may have been necessary for me. Even life-saving.
But it is not the whole journey.

All I can write here is that i send my love and my care. And my admiration. Honestly I don't know how we do this,except one step at a time. Love, Copa

 

[MommaTried24]

Yes it is so hard. I know I did better when I completely detached. I've cried the last three days and now sit here wondering if he made it or not? I even stayed home from work today because I was so exhausted from it all. I never miss work. Ever. Texts earlier this morning revealed he spent 5 hours somewhere between being discharged and the program? He was supposedly on the bus to the program at 11 which is only 2 miles from the hospital in Nashville where he knows nobody? Makes me wonder if he's even telling the truth once again. I told him to text me and let me know when he got settled in. It's a 7 month program. Still no word and I've become numb (frozen) today after crying for three days. Trying to love someone who doesn't love themself is hard. As his mother I do feel a responsibility at times but also now feel that I should have stayed no contact.

I always remind myself what I don't know won't hurt me. My sponsor reminded me today to release the need to know, cause therein there's much distraction. There are many things the knowledge of which is not good for the soul. My soul has been experiencing just that ever since I allowed my son to be back in touch. Nothing has changed in four years. I had three years of somewhat peace not knowing anything at all.

I did a lot last week of what you all did Ksm. Flu and Covid shot too, voted, preplanned some things, etc. Praying God is watching over both of our troubled loved ones. Copa, I hope your rocky road with your son in the apartment gets easier and he starts to do better. Sending love to you both.

 

[ksm]

Any updates on your son? DGD sent me a message on FB about 30 minutes ago. She said "hello" I returned with "hello" and she never responded back. I wonder if she wanted me to lose my mind? Or tell her to come home? Or ask how is rehab? Or are you Ok? Where are you?

Nope. Trying to do the "gray rock" thing. In an hour we take GGSon to his dad's. I hope we get him out of here before she decides to show up. Ksm

 

[MommaTried24]

I'm in the same situation now. My son is at the rescue mission and he said he's scared but he's also too good to stay there. Said he doesn't want to be around drug addicts all day (even though he has a drinking problem himself) so he's missed his opportunity to get in the 7 month program probably for the weekend. I feel he's putting urgency on me to come and get him and I cannot. Said he's trying to get into a rehab and I said there is one right there that the hospital sent you to and he said nobody told him? I sent him a text yesterday morning about it. I'm calling around now trying to find him another rehab to go to but he's going to have to stay where he is again tonight. I also don't ever know if I can trust what he's saying and also he said he's not paying $2 to ride the city bus? WHAT? You walk everywhere and now you have access to a city bus and you're too good to ride it? You'd rather spend much more on a taxi cab? I'm just beside myself right now. I should not have gotten involved with this again. I should have made him figure it out. Thanks for asking Ksm. I'm sorry we are both dealing with this crazy stuff.