ScentofCedar
New Member
I do have a easy child now, hearthope.
When she was twenty-nine, our daughter was diagnosed with something I will never let myself remember the name of (something to do with adrenals and pituitary and thyroid function). Because her symptoms (which began in earnest when she hit puberty) had become so severe by that time, it was believed that she had an adrenal tumor and so, adrenal function was finally examined and an endocrinologist (instead of a multitude of psychiatrists or psychotherapists) was finally called in. Although initial treatments only made the situation more extreme, an experimental treatment was tried (Metformin {glucophage}, which is an oral anti-diabetic) and for our daughter, it worked. Within months, she was back as she had been before the syndrome progressed. She no longer takes the metformin, nor does she need it. She still has some hormonally mediated anxiety, but she is doing well. The weight melted away, the voice, skin, and personality changes resolved successfully.
So, although our daughter had been labeled with half the baloney in the DMII (or three, whichever version they are on these days), none of that was true.
Her illness was physiologically, not psychiatrically, based.
But no one knew that, then. So, from the time she turned twelve, it was our blond, blue-eyed, violin playing, ballet loving daughter we were coping with. She changed altogether seemingly overnight. Depression, black clothing, suicidal ideation ~ the works. She was diagnosed alcoholic. We were told it was one of the worst cases they had ever seen (she was fourteen when we first brought her in). They told us that without treatment she would die, and that there was really no difference between treatment centers.
So, for her first treatment center, we chose one in our city.
She failed, of course. Within a few years, that center had been closed. Later, we would see one of the counselor's names in the paper for dealing cocaine ~ all of which our daughter tried to tell us when she would call home begging to be let out.
Nothing worked, of course.
For anyone in that situation, I would recommend Hazelden ~ but I would also recommend that you be certain it is an addiction you are dealing with.
We would go through three courses of treatment with our daughter, one for nine months. Although she did graduate successfully from the nine month program, she would later tell us that the residents had all taken acid before the party to celebrate our daughter's release. (No, that wasn't Hazelden.)
And nope, we did not have a clue.
Part of whatever it is that our daughter (it's like an Addison's or a Cushing's disorder, but that is not what it is called) results in increased testosterone levels. Hair loss, voice changes, the strangest pattern of weight gain (similar to Cushing's), rage, mood swings, ammenorrhea and hypersexuality were symptoms ~ each of the physical symptoms were blamed on her supposed alcoholism.
And this daughter and her problems took up all of our time and attention.
And difficult child was younger.
And got lost.
And started using drugs.
And that's what happened.
So, you see, I was not a good mother. Because I did not know what I had done to my daughter (and did not find out it wasn't anything anyone had done until she was twenty-nine and a correct diagnosis was finally made), I was afraid to parent my son.
I did not know what to do, and so, I did nothing.
That's not true.
It feels like it, because of the way everything has come out, but that is not true.
I did everything I knew to but it did not work.
Now, I look at the outcome and ~ I just can't believe this happened to us, sometimes.
But it did.
So yep, I have a easy child now.
Barbara
When she was twenty-nine, our daughter was diagnosed with something I will never let myself remember the name of (something to do with adrenals and pituitary and thyroid function). Because her symptoms (which began in earnest when she hit puberty) had become so severe by that time, it was believed that she had an adrenal tumor and so, adrenal function was finally examined and an endocrinologist (instead of a multitude of psychiatrists or psychotherapists) was finally called in. Although initial treatments only made the situation more extreme, an experimental treatment was tried (Metformin {glucophage}, which is an oral anti-diabetic) and for our daughter, it worked. Within months, she was back as she had been before the syndrome progressed. She no longer takes the metformin, nor does she need it. She still has some hormonally mediated anxiety, but she is doing well. The weight melted away, the voice, skin, and personality changes resolved successfully.
So, although our daughter had been labeled with half the baloney in the DMII (or three, whichever version they are on these days), none of that was true.
Her illness was physiologically, not psychiatrically, based.
But no one knew that, then. So, from the time she turned twelve, it was our blond, blue-eyed, violin playing, ballet loving daughter we were coping with. She changed altogether seemingly overnight. Depression, black clothing, suicidal ideation ~ the works. She was diagnosed alcoholic. We were told it was one of the worst cases they had ever seen (she was fourteen when we first brought her in). They told us that without treatment she would die, and that there was really no difference between treatment centers.
So, for her first treatment center, we chose one in our city.
She failed, of course. Within a few years, that center had been closed. Later, we would see one of the counselor's names in the paper for dealing cocaine ~ all of which our daughter tried to tell us when she would call home begging to be let out.
Nothing worked, of course.
For anyone in that situation, I would recommend Hazelden ~ but I would also recommend that you be certain it is an addiction you are dealing with.
We would go through three courses of treatment with our daughter, one for nine months. Although she did graduate successfully from the nine month program, she would later tell us that the residents had all taken acid before the party to celebrate our daughter's release. (No, that wasn't Hazelden.)
And nope, we did not have a clue.
Part of whatever it is that our daughter (it's like an Addison's or a Cushing's disorder, but that is not what it is called) results in increased testosterone levels. Hair loss, voice changes, the strangest pattern of weight gain (similar to Cushing's), rage, mood swings, ammenorrhea and hypersexuality were symptoms ~ each of the physical symptoms were blamed on her supposed alcoholism.
And this daughter and her problems took up all of our time and attention.
And difficult child was younger.
And got lost.
And started using drugs.
And that's what happened.
So, you see, I was not a good mother. Because I did not know what I had done to my daughter (and did not find out it wasn't anything anyone had done until she was twenty-nine and a correct diagnosis was finally made), I was afraid to parent my son.
I did not know what to do, and so, I did nothing.
That's not true.
It feels like it, because of the way everything has come out, but that is not true.
I did everything I knew to but it did not work.
Now, I look at the outcome and ~ I just can't believe this happened to us, sometimes.
But it did.
So yep, I have a easy child now.
Barbara
.
