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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 754308" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>in my opinion the purpose of this forum is whatever we need it to be. I need it for venting and to stay the path. We use it for what serves us and we all are different.</p><p></p><p> For us with other kids besides a disordered child, this forum and all other help was a reality check. I needed to stop making Kay my whole life. That was so unfair toy other loved ones! My husband, my other kids, my extended family, myself....I learned to let go the best I could from the one who took up ALL my time and to live in balance.</p><p></p><p>It IS about me too. But it is about my other loved ones just as much. </p><p></p><p>This fear of Kay kept my husband and me from taking bold steps to get Jaden because of how afraid we were of upsetting Kay and also our fear that she would harm us. Jaden needed us. Now he has us. For me my recovery is and was about stopping the fear that caused my own poor decisions and put Kay's welfare in the center of my world.</p><p></p><p>I think until we lose the future fear we are unable to think about what is best for us, them and, for those of us with many loved ones, them as well. Fear is something I needed to stop as my default emotion and this forum, books, self help, Al Anon and our therapist got me out of that "what if" fear.</p><p></p><p>So for me I need you all to reinforce that I am not a bad person for detaching from one child. Now it definitely has helped ME but as I have a big family whom I love dearly, it helped them too.</p><p></p><p>We have needs based on situation, emotional state and many factors and I feel that this forum can and does address many issues, including how to be good to us. How to change us. And address many other issues!</p><p></p><p>Love and blessings to everybody here. Happy Sunday!!! May you find your way to wholeness.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 754308, member: 23706"] in my opinion the purpose of this forum is whatever we need it to be. I need it for venting and to stay the path. We use it for what serves us and we all are different. For us with other kids besides a disordered child, this forum and all other help was a reality check. I needed to stop making Kay my whole life. That was so unfair toy other loved ones! My husband, my other kids, my extended family, myself....I learned to let go the best I could from the one who took up ALL my time and to live in balance. It IS about me too. But it is about my other loved ones just as much. This fear of Kay kept my husband and me from taking bold steps to get Jaden because of how afraid we were of upsetting Kay and also our fear that she would harm us. Jaden needed us. Now he has us. For me my recovery is and was about stopping the fear that caused my own poor decisions and put Kay's welfare in the center of my world. I think until we lose the future fear we are unable to think about what is best for us, them and, for those of us with many loved ones, them as well. Fear is something I needed to stop as my default emotion and this forum, books, self help, Al Anon and our therapist got me out of that "what if" fear. So for me I need you all to reinforce that I am not a bad person for detaching from one child. Now it definitely has helped ME but as I have a big family whom I love dearly, it helped them too. We have needs based on situation, emotional state and many factors and I feel that this forum can and does address many issues, including how to be good to us. How to change us. And address many other issues! Love and blessings to everybody here. Happy Sunday!!! May you find your way to wholeness. [/QUOTE]
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