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Strange ??? -- is there a drug that can stain walls??
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<blockquote data-quote="seriously" data-source="post: 448646" data-attributes="member: 11920"><p>He will tell you whatever he thinks he has to in order to get you to do what he wants.</p><p></p><p>The fact is that he had a choice and he knew the consequences depending on what he chose to do.</p><p></p><p>Good job following through and I sure hope Dad is going to be tough on him too. It would not be a good idea for him to bounce back and forth between you two.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes, as harsh as this may sound, it is best to put them out on the streets from the very start. I say that because it seems like a lot of the time they don't really get it until that happens. In the meantime they may spend years growing more and more entrenched in their addictions, broaden the type and seriousness of their addictions and gradually destroy every relationship they have to the point it is nearly impossible to recover.</p><p></p><p>I think it would be really helpful for you and your X to have a discussion where you lay out the nitty gritty details of how things will be at Dads. For example, what are going to be the rules at Dad's house? What is Dad going to require that difficult child do as a member of the household (i.e. chores, job, etc.)? What will happen when/if difficult child screws up and gets caught doing drugs there?</p><p></p><p>If you both know what to expect and are on the same page then your difficult child cannot play you against each other.</p><p></p><p>Hugs - it's very hard to stand firm but you have to do it for your son's sake.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="seriously, post: 448646, member: 11920"] He will tell you whatever he thinks he has to in order to get you to do what he wants. The fact is that he had a choice and he knew the consequences depending on what he chose to do. Good job following through and I sure hope Dad is going to be tough on him too. It would not be a good idea for him to bounce back and forth between you two. Sometimes, as harsh as this may sound, it is best to put them out on the streets from the very start. I say that because it seems like a lot of the time they don't really get it until that happens. In the meantime they may spend years growing more and more entrenched in their addictions, broaden the type and seriousness of their addictions and gradually destroy every relationship they have to the point it is nearly impossible to recover. I think it would be really helpful for you and your X to have a discussion where you lay out the nitty gritty details of how things will be at Dads. For example, what are going to be the rules at Dad's house? What is Dad going to require that difficult child do as a member of the household (i.e. chores, job, etc.)? What will happen when/if difficult child screws up and gets caught doing drugs there? If you both know what to expect and are on the same page then your difficult child cannot play you against each other. Hugs - it's very hard to stand firm but you have to do it for your son's sake. [/QUOTE]
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Strange ??? -- is there a drug that can stain walls??
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