Strength comes as we let go

[Heartbroken mom]

updating
My 42 year old son who is currently in a shelter
But has found a job
And has been on medication for major depression he also has other personality disorders
Is currently looking for a new job as the shelter is helping him find a room they work towards independence for the shelter people
He is moving forward but asks ne for money all the time
He has been enabled for 12 years by other family member who is now deceased

Long story
The growth is my own
I have held strongly to boundaries that previously I would not have been able to do and everytime I hold them
He does end up showing up for himself
But just last night after going off his medications
He sent me a rant awful blaming major fog stuff

I was able to go back to sleep get up exercise and not let it spoil a special time with my daughter

I told him what he was doing and that I wouldn’t take it anymore

He apologized but I kept and am keeping my boundaries

Then this am he is back to job search

All the posts here have helped me gain the strength and perspectives I’ve needed

Refocused the love to myself

He once again has to find his way

And I remain at peace

Thank you all

I don’t write much but read here all the time and gain such wisdom

Praying he continues to move his life in a better direction
Knowing the old story doesn’t work anymore and I am caring for myself first

It feels good!!

When the spell is broken all that’s left is love

 

[Tanya M]

Glad to hear you are sticking with your boundaries and that you are focusing on you. Self love is so important.

I hope your son will find a job that he can stick with.

((HUGS))

 

[Tiredof33]

It is difficult, we want to help them, it's so hard to understand they have to do it for themselves. I have finally accepted the fact that this is what my son will be.

I too plan to live my life and let him live his. My son not only expects m to support him, he brings in others for me to support too. Stay strong!

 

[Snow White]

Tiredof33 - I'm so happy to hear that the boundaries you have set are helping you to move forward. I also hope that he finds a job that will motivate him.

It is difficult, we want to help them, it's so hard to understand they have to do it for themselves. I have finally accepted the fact that this is what my son will be.

I feel that with 'acceptance' comes some level of 'peace'. I will always worry but I have accepted that my daughter's choices are hers and hers alone. It is so important to keep our lives going forward strong!

Great to hear that in the face of potential drama, you kept up with your routine/boundaries and didn't let it ruin your day. That's amazing!!!