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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 754693" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Fried Green Tomatoes, Towanda. You have to Towandasize yourself. Stand up for yourself.</p><p> My daughter would “punish” me for not putting up with her drugging and making her leave my home by going no contact, kids and all. It’s a twisted way of breaking us down.</p><p>Being here helped me to sort through the madness and see it for what it was. Madness and abuse. Nobody, especially our own adult children has the right to belittle us. Nobody is perfect. Nobody. We all make mistakes. My daughter is in jail and I have two of her kids. She calls when she is in jail, other than that the only time I see her is on Instagram, gangster partying selfies for all the world and her kids to view. The kids are mad at her and don’t want to speak with her. I got up the nerve to tell her that and she went on this screaming tirade about how I am a lier and judge-mental and other stuff about “just because Dad’s dead doesn’t mean you have say over the house.” Huh. I said bye and hung up and don’t plan to pick up again. Towanda. She doesn’t even know me. My own daughter. I am not any of those things.</p><p>It takes time and practice and working on ourselves and building our armor, Overwhelmed. Not one of us imagined being at a point where the kids we raised could be so mean and nasty as adults. It’s like being ankle checked over and again. We forgive and keep trying to figure out where <em>we</em> went wrong and how things got to be this way. Bottom line. It’s their choice. One quote that helped me “What you allow, will continue.” I had to stop allowing the craziness for my own sanity and well being.</p><p>Getting out and up from under the sadness of it all is important. Baby steps. This site helps because we have all pretty much experienced stuff that would shock other folks, and yes, I have also lost friends because they just couldn’t bare my truth.</p><p>You sound resolved to work on strengthening yourself. Good for you! Try not to be so hard on yourself. Keep posting, it really helps to write it all out and get feedback.</p><p>Towanda!</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 754693, member: 19522"] Fried Green Tomatoes, Towanda. You have to Towandasize yourself. Stand up for yourself. My daughter would “punish” me for not putting up with her drugging and making her leave my home by going no contact, kids and all. It’s a twisted way of breaking us down. Being here helped me to sort through the madness and see it for what it was. Madness and abuse. Nobody, especially our own adult children has the right to belittle us. Nobody is perfect. Nobody. We all make mistakes. My daughter is in jail and I have two of her kids. She calls when she is in jail, other than that the only time I see her is on Instagram, gangster partying selfies for all the world and her kids to view. The kids are mad at her and don’t want to speak with her. I got up the nerve to tell her that and she went on this screaming tirade about how I am a lier and judge-mental and other stuff about “just because Dad’s dead doesn’t mean you have say over the house.” Huh. I said bye and hung up and don’t plan to pick up again. Towanda. She doesn’t even know me. My own daughter. I am not any of those things. It takes time and practice and working on ourselves and building our armor, Overwhelmed. Not one of us imagined being at a point where the kids we raised could be so mean and nasty as adults. It’s like being ankle checked over and again. We forgive and keep trying to figure out where [I]we[/I] went wrong and how things got to be this way. Bottom line. It’s their choice. One quote that helped me “What you allow, will continue.” I had to stop allowing the craziness for my own sanity and well being. Getting out and up from under the sadness of it all is important. Baby steps. This site helps because we have all pretty much experienced stuff that would shock other folks, and yes, I have also lost friends because they just couldn’t bare my truth. You sound resolved to work on strengthening yourself. Good for you! Try not to be so hard on yourself. Keep posting, it really helps to write it all out and get feedback. Towanda! (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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