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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 754721" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>Overwhelmed, everyone here is relevant. Relevant = closely connected to the circumstances. We cheer each other on, share our sorrows, and accept one another without judgement. It is a safe place. I am not there all the way, yet, not sure I ever will be, but the important thing is that I strive to accept this circumstance I am in with my 41 y/o alcoholic homeless, abusive daughter. I am a work in progress when it comes to detachment, but I am 80 percent better. When I first came here, last April, I think, I had read a lot about personality disorder, how to cope as the mother of an adult child and how to let go. I had done a lot of homework, but I wasn't able to stay consistent on letting go of the guilt and fear. I am so much better because of the opportunity to share and read the stories, how to do better, right here.</p><p></p><p>The first step to your freedom from the shackles of such pain is to make the choice to put yourself first. Many here are active in Al-anon. They also share their experiences here and I have found it to be very helpful. I have been in therapy off and on for years. </p><p></p><p>We all have to take care of ourselves first, so we can make rational decisions not fueled by emotions, and it takes work. Anything worth having does.</p><p></p><p>I wish for you to find help through social services in your area. Someone here shared the 211 phone access. I couldn't use it because my Difficult Child lives in another state, but maybe you can. The places I was able to locate resources so I would have them if and when my daughter reaches out (one I shared with my Difficult Child so she would have an idea of all the services available so she wouldn't be alone over the holidays). I got the message. She said I have never walked beside her so don't start now, and that she was not 100% alone, no thanks to me, yada, yada. There's more, but I think you get the point. I spoke with many caring people by trying to find resources for my Difficult Child and they all asked about me. How was I coping? Etc. </p><p></p><p>Just brainstorming, of course it is up to you to make the choice that is best for you. You are relevant.</p><p></p><p>"The first step in changing for the better is to actually do something different."</p><p>~Hug your World</p><p></p><p>Sending comfort {{{virtual hugs}}}. You are not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 754721, member: 23811"] Overwhelmed, everyone here is relevant. Relevant = closely connected to the circumstances. We cheer each other on, share our sorrows, and accept one another without judgement. It is a safe place. I am not there all the way, yet, not sure I ever will be, but the important thing is that I strive to accept this circumstance I am in with my 41 y/o alcoholic homeless, abusive daughter. I am a work in progress when it comes to detachment, but I am 80 percent better. When I first came here, last April, I think, I had read a lot about personality disorder, how to cope as the mother of an adult child and how to let go. I had done a lot of homework, but I wasn't able to stay consistent on letting go of the guilt and fear. I am so much better because of the opportunity to share and read the stories, how to do better, right here. The first step to your freedom from the shackles of such pain is to make the choice to put yourself first. Many here are active in Al-anon. They also share their experiences here and I have found it to be very helpful. I have been in therapy off and on for years. We all have to take care of ourselves first, so we can make rational decisions not fueled by emotions, and it takes work. Anything worth having does. I wish for you to find help through social services in your area. Someone here shared the 211 phone access. I couldn't use it because my Difficult Child lives in another state, but maybe you can. The places I was able to locate resources so I would have them if and when my daughter reaches out (one I shared with my Difficult Child so she would have an idea of all the services available so she wouldn't be alone over the holidays). I got the message. She said I have never walked beside her so don't start now, and that she was not 100% alone, no thanks to me, yada, yada. There's more, but I think you get the point. I spoke with many caring people by trying to find resources for my Difficult Child and they all asked about me. How was I coping? Etc. Just brainstorming, of course it is up to you to make the choice that is best for you. You are relevant. "The first step in changing for the better is to actually do something different." ~Hug your World Sending comfort {{{virtual hugs}}}. You are not alone. [/QUOTE]
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