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<blockquote data-quote="Kalahou" data-source="post: 736922" data-attributes="member: 19617"><p>Aloha Leafy,</p><p>I just saw this and do not have much time, but just want to join with the others in understanding and support. You are so not alone. I have been through this also. You know my story and my place. In my situation, it was a relief to find out my son was in jail.</p><p></p><p>Of course, he wanted bail or supervised release. I did neither. I did not ever attend any court proceedings, and I did not go to visit him for his entire duration there. (My prior thread at that time gives more details.) I figured if he wanted me to know something or wanted to ask me something, he would share with me by phone or letter himself. They can write letters from there, and they can make collect phone calls if you have no plan set up with GTL inmate phone system. My son did contact me at times. I did periodically send a note, expressing my thanks and aloha for his life and the promise of a good future that was possible if he took the right actions, which only our difficult children can do for themselves to make their own lives.</p><p></p><p>The way it worked with him, after the arraignment, they set a trial date 3-4 months down the road, and because there was no bail, he had to remain in XXCC for those months awaiting trial. This was good. He had to learn patience, and</p><p><em>e maka’ala</em>. He had a lot of time to think, eventually got a part time job in the facility, etc. Each time I drove passed the corrections facility, I thought of him in there, so close yet so far. And I lifted prayers of thankfulness and for the goodness of the legal / corrections ohana helping him in <em>ke ala pono</em>, in the way he needed for himself. I decided to “trust the process.” He ended up being in the corrections center for 6 months, and he had up and downs (including getting hurt), but I think he hopefully learned it is not a place he wants to go back to live in.</p><p></p><p>While in jail, he either exhibited drug behavior or else he volunteered the info on drug abuse to his defender etc., as he was eventually deemed a candidate for a drug court program that he was released to on probation. This program and his “so far” adherence to it is the good that came out of it.</p><p></p><p>I will follow along and keep you in my heart and prayers through this. Tornado is still quite young, but she began this hard road at an early age, so has been on it a very long time. Maybe this will help her realize that time catches up with us all. Maybe she will come to realize an increasing need for ohana and reach out.</p><p></p><p>Mahalo ke akua. It’s all good, Tita. Bless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kalahou, post: 736922, member: 19617"] Aloha Leafy, I just saw this and do not have much time, but just want to join with the others in understanding and support. You are so not alone. I have been through this also. You know my story and my place. In my situation, it was a relief to find out my son was in jail. Of course, he wanted bail or supervised release. I did neither. I did not ever attend any court proceedings, and I did not go to visit him for his entire duration there. (My prior thread at that time gives more details.) I figured if he wanted me to know something or wanted to ask me something, he would share with me by phone or letter himself. They can write letters from there, and they can make collect phone calls if you have no plan set up with GTL inmate phone system. My son did contact me at times. I did periodically send a note, expressing my thanks and aloha for his life and the promise of a good future that was possible if he took the right actions, which only our difficult children can do for themselves to make their own lives. The way it worked with him, after the arraignment, they set a trial date 3-4 months down the road, and because there was no bail, he had to remain in XXCC for those months awaiting trial. This was good. He had to learn patience, and [I]e maka’ala[/I]. He had a lot of time to think, eventually got a part time job in the facility, etc. Each time I drove passed the corrections facility, I thought of him in there, so close yet so far. And I lifted prayers of thankfulness and for the goodness of the legal / corrections ohana helping him in [I]ke ala pono[/I], in the way he needed for himself. I decided to “trust the process.” He ended up being in the corrections center for 6 months, and he had up and downs (including getting hurt), but I think he hopefully learned it is not a place he wants to go back to live in. While in jail, he either exhibited drug behavior or else he volunteered the info on drug abuse to his defender etc., as he was eventually deemed a candidate for a drug court program that he was released to on probation. This program and his “so far” adherence to it is the good that came out of it. I will follow along and keep you in my heart and prayers through this. Tornado is still quite young, but she began this hard road at an early age, so has been on it a very long time. Maybe this will help her realize that time catches up with us all. Maybe she will come to realize an increasing need for ohana and reach out. Mahalo ke akua. It’s all good, Tita. Bless. [/QUOTE]
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