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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 736962" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Good morning all. I woke up this morning determined to keep living <em>my life</em>. Not going to drop everything to pursue this. I was reading about meth detox and realized at this stage, only a few days in, Tornado will be a wreck. Not going into the old pattern of rescue mode. That is how I feel. I will sit with it for a while before I do anything.</p><p>There is no use denying it, Re, it is true, it is a shock to the system, even though I have <em>secretly prayed that either she, or her sister would be hauled in one day.</em> Yes, I have prayed for this. It is something of a last resort, seeing Rain sporadically, hearing reports of my two slipping and stumbling further and further into meth addiction and homelessness. It seems that they have accepted this lifestyle above anything else. Reading up on meth, it is a <em>no brainer.</em> The vicious cycle of use, leading them to the very gates of hell. This is a forced detox. Not by choice. Time will only tell what her decision is. <em>She has abandoned family, her own children, to get high and live on the streets. </em></p><p> Thank you Albie. The seesawing that goes with this. If I go to court, if I don't go to court.......The thing is, my focus has been on seeing my son through his last years of high school. His life has been so thoroughly disrupted by his sisters choices and shenanigans and our desperate attempts to "help." It has not been fair to him at all, or us.</p><p> Thank you Albie, it is good to come to this place of refuge and read the advice, helps to calm me and figure out my next steps.</p><p> TL, I am glad your son is doing better. I have read some of my old responses to those who lament about adult children in jail. I am digesting it and remembering that I have looked at it as a possible<em> remedy</em>. So, that is what I am focusing on to ride out the initial shock of it.</p><p> Thank you Wisernow. I so appreciate your story with your son. Not bailing her out is not tearing me apart. There is a tinge of "What will she think?" going on, which I have to squelch. That is old pattern talking. The truth is, that no matter what I do, it will never be<em> enough</em> for her. So, I am sitting with my feelings and sorting through them.</p><p>Mahalo nui Kalahou for sharing this. I think for now, I will pray as well, and be thankful.</p><p> "It's all good." Whatever happens, happens. I am not putting all of my eggs in one basket, having expectations for anything. Only time will tell what will be. I hope she will begin to understand her true potential, that life is not just one big party, that she needs to grow up.</p><p></p><p>Mahalo nui Tita. I just know that old “jump in the fire” mode will only get me burned, so I am trying to slow way down and take care of what I need. She did not call me, choosing to call her youngest sister, who has a toddler to care for. I might go your route. I have jumped through hoops for my daughter and am tired of the circus.</p><p></p><p>Thank you LBL. I am so glad your son is doing well. I will look for your post.</p><p> Not too much turmoil, mostly determination. I am not cold and hard, but have been down this road way too long. Nothing I have said has gotten through to my two, not even the death of their father. Meth is such a life sucking drug. I think this is the only way my two will escape its grip on their brain. Forced. I read a bit about detox from it, it is hard. Rehab takes a long time, as the brain craves it for many months....like 30.</p><p></p><p> She actually called her younger sister, not Rain. I don't even know if she has a cell phone, but definitely would not have money to bail her out. The irony of her calling her youngest sister, who is making right choices........it may have been a way to get to me, without actually calling me. Who knows?</p><p></p><p> Thank you LBL, it is wonderful to have so much support.</p><p></p><p> Thank you Copa, as do you. We all do, and so do our beloveds. They have to choose better.</p><p></p><p> I have been thinking this way, this morning. Let her sit with it for the time being.</p><p> Thank you Wish, for sharing your experience. It means a lot to me.</p><p>I think we all have so much to offer one another and am so appreciative of the time you took to write out your suggestion from your own struggles. I am not having this mess. That is how I have been feeling, as I sort through this latest version of consequences. Stopping myself from that old moth to the flame reaction. I don't know about reconnection, it would take a lot of soul searching for Tornado, and staying off of drugs. I am not basing my life on how my two decide, borrowing from my Dads stoicism. I am not cold hearted, just been around the block with this for too many years. I have to be tough, for self preservation, as well as my sons sake. I have fallen into despair too many times over my twos choices. I don't want to go down that rabbit hole again.</p><p> I don't think you are wrong at all. Thank you.</p><p> Aw, Wish, no worries on grammar and typos. I think I got the gist of your post. I am glad that you shared from your heart. It helped me through my thought process. I hope your find your glasses. I use readers and have them all over the place!</p><p>Thank you all so much for taking the precious time out of your day to help me with your thoughts and kindness. It is such a relief to be able to sort this out with you guys.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 736962, member: 19522"] Good morning all. I woke up this morning determined to keep living [I]my life[/I]. Not going to drop everything to pursue this. I was reading about meth detox and realized at this stage, only a few days in, Tornado will be a wreck. Not going into the old pattern of rescue mode. That is how I feel. I will sit with it for a while before I do anything. There is no use denying it, Re, it is true, it is a shock to the system, even though I have [I]secretly prayed that either she, or her sister would be hauled in one day.[/I] Yes, I have prayed for this. It is something of a last resort, seeing Rain sporadically, hearing reports of my two slipping and stumbling further and further into meth addiction and homelessness. It seems that they have accepted this lifestyle above anything else. Reading up on meth, it is a [I]no brainer.[/I] The vicious cycle of use, leading them to the very gates of hell. This is a forced detox. Not by choice. Time will only tell what her decision is. [I]She has abandoned family, her own children, to get high and live on the streets. [/I] Thank you Albie. The seesawing that goes with this. If I go to court, if I don't go to court.......The thing is, my focus has been on seeing my son through his last years of high school. His life has been so thoroughly disrupted by his sisters choices and shenanigans and our desperate attempts to "help." It has not been fair to him at all, or us. Thank you Albie, it is good to come to this place of refuge and read the advice, helps to calm me and figure out my next steps. TL, I am glad your son is doing better. I have read some of my old responses to those who lament about adult children in jail. I am digesting it and remembering that I have looked at it as a possible[I] remedy[/I]. So, that is what I am focusing on to ride out the initial shock of it. Thank you Wisernow. I so appreciate your story with your son. Not bailing her out is not tearing me apart. There is a tinge of "What will she think?" going on, which I have to squelch. That is old pattern talking. The truth is, that no matter what I do, it will never be[I] enough[/I] for her. So, I am sitting with my feelings and sorting through them. Mahalo nui Kalahou for sharing this. I think for now, I will pray as well, and be thankful. "It's all good." Whatever happens, happens. I am not putting all of my eggs in one basket, having expectations for anything. Only time will tell what will be. I hope she will begin to understand her true potential, that life is not just one big party, that she needs to grow up. Mahalo nui Tita. I just know that old “jump in the fire” mode will only get me burned, so I am trying to slow way down and take care of what I need. She did not call me, choosing to call her youngest sister, who has a toddler to care for. I might go your route. I have jumped through hoops for my daughter and am tired of the circus. Thank you LBL. I am so glad your son is doing well. I will look for your post. Not too much turmoil, mostly determination. I am not cold and hard, but have been down this road way too long. Nothing I have said has gotten through to my two, not even the death of their father. Meth is such a life sucking drug. I think this is the only way my two will escape its grip on their brain. Forced. I read a bit about detox from it, it is hard. Rehab takes a long time, as the brain craves it for many months....like 30. She actually called her younger sister, not Rain. I don't even know if she has a cell phone, but definitely would not have money to bail her out. The irony of her calling her youngest sister, who is making right choices........it may have been a way to get to me, without actually calling me. Who knows? Thank you LBL, it is wonderful to have so much support. Thank you Copa, as do you. We all do, and so do our beloveds. They have to choose better. I have been thinking this way, this morning. Let her sit with it for the time being. Thank you Wish, for sharing your experience. It means a lot to me. I think we all have so much to offer one another and am so appreciative of the time you took to write out your suggestion from your own struggles. I am not having this mess. That is how I have been feeling, as I sort through this latest version of consequences. Stopping myself from that old moth to the flame reaction. I don't know about reconnection, it would take a lot of soul searching for Tornado, and staying off of drugs. I am not basing my life on how my two decide, borrowing from my Dads stoicism. I am not cold hearted, just been around the block with this for too many years. I have to be tough, for self preservation, as well as my sons sake. I have fallen into despair too many times over my twos choices. I don't want to go down that rabbit hole again. I don't think you are wrong at all. Thank you. Aw, Wish, no worries on grammar and typos. I think I got the gist of your post. I am glad that you shared from your heart. It helped me through my thought process. I hope your find your glasses. I use readers and have them all over the place! Thank you all so much for taking the precious time out of your day to help me with your thoughts and kindness. It is such a relief to be able to sort this out with you guys. (((HUGS))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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