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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 736976" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Thank you Copa. Reading through my posts, I have often written that I am not cold hearted, as if I have to defend myself, my actions, or inaction. There is a tinge of guilt to deciding <em>to not do anything</em>, I confess. I have to remind myself that I have given my two to God, and that my prayers for them will have to suffice. The rest, is truly up to them. What power do I have over this? Not one bit.</p><p></p><p>I agree completely. How easy it is for our wayward adult children to continue on this path, and try to hand over their consequences to us. We take up their struggles and woes, suffer in heartbreak after heartbreak and it becomes just another Tuesday for them.</p><p> I am so sorry Copa. It has been a long haul for you as well. I have some respite with my three well children. For you, I imagine it is a harder journey, because your son is your only child.</p><p></p><p> You have done everything possible to try and help your son. To see him in such a state is torturous.</p><p></p><p> There is such a learning curve to all of this. What we need, what they need. There must be some reason somewhere in the universe why we suffer, why they suffer. What do we need to learn? Why don't they get it? Why won't they grow and change and see their potential?</p><p>I have come to the conclusion that I am not the one to help my two. They have shown me over and again, that my version of help, does not urge them to change, quite the opposite, they dig further into the hole, and take us down with them.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Copa, you have taught me so much through your wisdom and kind, thoughtful, intelligent posts. I thank you. I pray for your peace, and for your son.</p><p> There are so many homeless addicts on the street, Jabber. The system is overwhelmed here. Prisons overcrowded. I don't know what will come of this and am giving it to God.</p><p></p><p> Thank you Apple. I so appreciate your kindness.</p><p></p><p> I agree. Helping is not helping. We won't be on this earth forever to dig our wayward's out of the messes they create. They have got to learn to want better for themselves.</p><p>Thank you all.</p><p>I am blessed to have your support.</p><p></p><p>Have a wonder filled day.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>Leafy</p><p>PS.</p><p>I took a group of my sons crew mates on a distance paddle yesterday. We worked on building strength and endurance, exerting ourselves hard in the canoe together on the beautiful ocean. Saw several turtles and a monk seal, basked in the sun and jewel toned sea. As I watched these teenagers, chatting happily and singing together after a hard practice, I remembered that Tornado was blessed with this kind of experience in her youth. I am thankful for that memory. Hopefully, she will remember her roots and return to herself and the possibilities held out for her. That, <em>is completely up to her.</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 736976, member: 19522"] Thank you Copa. Reading through my posts, I have often written that I am not cold hearted, as if I have to defend myself, my actions, or inaction. There is a tinge of guilt to deciding [I]to not do anything[/I], I confess. I have to remind myself that I have given my two to God, and that my prayers for them will have to suffice. The rest, is truly up to them. What power do I have over this? Not one bit. I agree completely. How easy it is for our wayward adult children to continue on this path, and try to hand over their consequences to us. We take up their struggles and woes, suffer in heartbreak after heartbreak and it becomes just another Tuesday for them. I am so sorry Copa. It has been a long haul for you as well. I have some respite with my three well children. For you, I imagine it is a harder journey, because your son is your only child. You have done everything possible to try and help your son. To see him in such a state is torturous. There is such a learning curve to all of this. What we need, what they need. There must be some reason somewhere in the universe why we suffer, why they suffer. What do we need to learn? Why don't they get it? Why won't they grow and change and see their potential? I have come to the conclusion that I am not the one to help my two. They have shown me over and again, that my version of help, does not urge them to change, quite the opposite, they dig further into the hole, and take us down with them. Copa, you have taught me so much through your wisdom and kind, thoughtful, intelligent posts. I thank you. I pray for your peace, and for your son. There are so many homeless addicts on the street, Jabber. The system is overwhelmed here. Prisons overcrowded. I don't know what will come of this and am giving it to God. Thank you Apple. I so appreciate your kindness. I agree. Helping is not helping. We won't be on this earth forever to dig our wayward's out of the messes they create. They have got to learn to want better for themselves. Thank you all. I am blessed to have your support. Have a wonder filled day. (((HUGS))) Leafy PS. I took a group of my sons crew mates on a distance paddle yesterday. We worked on building strength and endurance, exerting ourselves hard in the canoe together on the beautiful ocean. Saw several turtles and a monk seal, basked in the sun and jewel toned sea. As I watched these teenagers, chatting happily and singing together after a hard practice, I remembered that Tornado was blessed with this kind of experience in her youth. I am thankful for that memory. Hopefully, she will remember her roots and return to herself and the possibilities held out for her. That, [I]is completely up to her.[/I] [/QUOTE]
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