BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Sonic has wanted his own place for a long time. Now I say "good for him!!!!" I was told he would never be independent and never be able to take care of himself and he can and is and will be paying his rent with his own money and I feel he has a safe "safety" plan and he will only be four minutes from us. But OMG I just can't get used to it. I can't. He is excited, getting everything he will need for his apartment and I am helping, picking up stuff here and there, then crying in the car.
If that isn't bad enough (and it should really be good, not bad), Jumper has to be at college on August 6th because that is the first day of Volleyball practice. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! THAT IS TOO EARLY! I'm going with my hubby to take her there and then the last of my children will be gone and I know I will be inconsolable in the car ride home and probably act like a big boob and cry and hug her and not want to let go. Both of these adult kids have been such a joy and I feel so honored that my Higher Power entrusted them into our care.
In the midst of all of this, we are also moving to a two bedroom apartment so that Jumper has a place to stay when she visits. But it's a big change, although I am sort of a minimalist and am trying to make this a mission in order to divert my mind and keep my spirits up. Then, of course, my precious granddaughter will be born somewhere around July 6th or 7th while Sonic moves on June 26th and we move August 4th and Jumper is driven to school August 6th. It is so much in such a short period of time and when I am back from visiting my precious grandbaby, nobody will be at home with me except my husband Tom. I love Tom with all my heart, but I will miss the kids. The dogs do help!!!!
Can anyone shed light on any thoughts that I can hang onto for comfort when I am missing my beloved children? Have any of you ever had to adjust to an empty nest from children that were not difficult children? Before I got my job I was really happy, volunteering, meeting tons of new people, always busy and I thought I'd have the problem whipped because of my busy schedule. My new job slowed that down. I like my job, but it isn't the same as volunteering where you meet people from all walks of life. If I did not need the little money I get from the job, even though I like it, I'd probably just go back to volunteering where I had so much control over my days and could immerse myself in helping others with others who like to help and are caring.
I have a mood disorder and tend to get depressed if I have nothing to do. My husband is not a doer. It is hard to get him out of the house. How do you learn to like spending time alone in the house?
I apologize for this whine. I realize most of you are dealing with difficult children and this is a maybe trite issue to you. However, I do trust you all and since I suffer from a mood disorder, even on good medications that help keep me stable enough to function I do get depressed from time to time. Nothing like the old tunnels of blackness, but I do get down. Especially when not busy. Or when I have down time.
If any of you could spare a moment for a response, I would appreciate it. And if you can't, or have nothing to say, I do understand.
While I felt relief when 36 left because he was a threat to me and when Julie left I was very sad but didn't feel I had any other choice due to the drug use, this is way different. I feel like I will be mostly alone with myself and I don't know how to find interesting things to do with myself. I come alive more when I'm with others, but after work I'm way too mentally worn out to volunteer and there isn't much to volunteer at during t he evening hours anyway.
I need mental stimulation to keep me from depression and being alone doesn't foster that for long. I do like to write but can only do that for so long. Working out...I do that. It helps. Again, that is only 45 min.
If that isn't bad enough (and it should really be good, not bad), Jumper has to be at college on August 6th because that is the first day of Volleyball practice. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! THAT IS TOO EARLY! I'm going with my hubby to take her there and then the last of my children will be gone and I know I will be inconsolable in the car ride home and probably act like a big boob and cry and hug her and not want to let go. Both of these adult kids have been such a joy and I feel so honored that my Higher Power entrusted them into our care.
In the midst of all of this, we are also moving to a two bedroom apartment so that Jumper has a place to stay when she visits. But it's a big change, although I am sort of a minimalist and am trying to make this a mission in order to divert my mind and keep my spirits up. Then, of course, my precious granddaughter will be born somewhere around July 6th or 7th while Sonic moves on June 26th and we move August 4th and Jumper is driven to school August 6th. It is so much in such a short period of time and when I am back from visiting my precious grandbaby, nobody will be at home with me except my husband Tom. I love Tom with all my heart, but I will miss the kids. The dogs do help!!!!
Can anyone shed light on any thoughts that I can hang onto for comfort when I am missing my beloved children? Have any of you ever had to adjust to an empty nest from children that were not difficult children? Before I got my job I was really happy, volunteering, meeting tons of new people, always busy and I thought I'd have the problem whipped because of my busy schedule. My new job slowed that down. I like my job, but it isn't the same as volunteering where you meet people from all walks of life. If I did not need the little money I get from the job, even though I like it, I'd probably just go back to volunteering where I had so much control over my days and could immerse myself in helping others with others who like to help and are caring.
I have a mood disorder and tend to get depressed if I have nothing to do. My husband is not a doer. It is hard to get him out of the house. How do you learn to like spending time alone in the house?
I apologize for this whine. I realize most of you are dealing with difficult children and this is a maybe trite issue to you. However, I do trust you all and since I suffer from a mood disorder, even on good medications that help keep me stable enough to function I do get depressed from time to time. Nothing like the old tunnels of blackness, but I do get down. Especially when not busy. Or when I have down time.
If any of you could spare a moment for a response, I would appreciate it. And if you can't, or have nothing to say, I do understand.
While I felt relief when 36 left because he was a threat to me and when Julie left I was very sad but didn't feel I had any other choice due to the drug use, this is way different. I feel like I will be mostly alone with myself and I don't know how to find interesting things to do with myself. I come alive more when I'm with others, but after work I'm way too mentally worn out to volunteer and there isn't much to volunteer at during t he evening hours anyway.
I need mental stimulation to keep me from depression and being alone doesn't foster that for long. I do like to write but can only do that for so long. Working out...I do that. It helps. Again, that is only 45 min.