The worst type of abuse against parents that nobody really understands

[TheWalrus]

Hubs didn't even get an acknowledgment of Father's Day. I was so pissed. I should have expected it - one year she wished her mother a Happy Father's Day because her mom "did it all." I literally cannot stand her and what she does to my husband. In a few weeks or a month or when it suits her, she will toss a line and reel him back in again, then throw him back out. It never ends.

 

[BusynMember]

I think it's worse to get tossed a bone than to be let go. Then at least you can grieve. You go through the same steps you go through when somebody dies...which means time makes it better. We don't grieve forever.

On the estranged forums I felt worse for the parents whose estranged kids would meanly tease them with minor contact then disappear again...than the estranged kids who didn't do that.

I feel so bad for your husband. I wish I had words of wisdom.

 

[Copabanana]

On the estranged forums I felt worse for the parents whose estranged kids would meanly tease them

M heard from 3 of his 9 kids. He was happy.

I am feeling very sad now for my mother who had to endure rejection in one way or another from each of her children, my sister and I. I tried to not hurt her on purpose but I did so anyway. I rejected my father, too. There were reasons. There are always reasons. And I was half-hearted about my sister.

The reasons that I thought made sense were .

All of the grief. I wish I had the ability to live my life again. I would live so differently.

I do not know what I was thinking. I wanted more. I wanted to be happy. To be whole. I wanted what I thought other people had.

I did not realize I was betraying myself. My heart. I will never ever forgive myself. I am a broken person. I always was, I guess.

Honest to god, whatever I suffered at the hands of my parents, through omission or deliberately did not justify leaving them. Even if they left me, I was not built to leave them. The grief will never, ever go away.

We were not built to turn away from our people. Nobody was. Even if they turn away from us. I would have tried over and over and over again--whatever the cost to me.

I wish I had felt this pain, sooner, earlier, so that I could have, would have lived differently. Now it is too late.

I had all the kindness in the world for others. To my family and ultimately myself, I had none.

Learn from this.