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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 751724" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>My quote thing isn't working. I want to clarify one thing I wrote. I would NOT decide on a therapist for her. You can argue you have a veto. And you choose to veto this therapist. But I would not choose her therapist. I think this would be infantilizing to her. I believe you are served by giving her leeway to mature and to have freedom of choice, especially about something so personal as a therapist. If it were me, I would let her decide upon the next therapist. And not interfere unless there come to be real problems again. After all. What your goal is, I think, is an adult child who matures into a fully functional and autonomous person. By choosing her therapist I believe you would be undermining that.</p><p></p><p>That's just what I think. I have a similar situation with my son, as you do with your daughter. My son's judgement is poor. I want to control the situation. But I also want him to at some point be functional and autonomous, and to make good choices. After all, I will die at some point. It does not benefit him or me, if I micro manage. Better he make mistakes and learn from them. Even if I suffer in the process.</p><p></p><p>I believe your daughter (and you) are served by giving her freedom of choice.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 751724, member: 18958"] My quote thing isn't working. I want to clarify one thing I wrote. I would NOT decide on a therapist for her. You can argue you have a veto. And you choose to veto this therapist. But I would not choose her therapist. I think this would be infantilizing to her. I believe you are served by giving her leeway to mature and to have freedom of choice, especially about something so personal as a therapist. If it were me, I would let her decide upon the next therapist. And not interfere unless there come to be real problems again. After all. What your goal is, I think, is an adult child who matures into a fully functional and autonomous person. By choosing her therapist I believe you would be undermining that. That's just what I think. I have a similar situation with my son, as you do with your daughter. My son's judgement is poor. I want to control the situation. But I also want him to at some point be functional and autonomous, and to make good choices. After all, I will die at some point. It does not benefit him or me, if I micro manage. Better he make mistakes and learn from them. Even if I suffer in the process. I believe your daughter (and you) are served by giving her freedom of choice. [/QUOTE]
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