Thoughts? Foster Parents, Your Thoughts?

[tiredmommy]

I would think that posting a picture of a foster child on the internet would be prohibited due to privacy rules. This sort of behavior is way over the top.
I agree with Kris: document...document...document!

 

[Shari]

I think My K probably got fed up with Mrs K. Perhaps they should address their/her issues before they start messing with kids who are a bit messed up to start with. I can see her becoming attached and wanting to maintain communication or something, but this doesn't sound like a professional, or even adult, way of going about it.

 

[Janna]

I was thinking that, kris. You read my mind. I was just sitting here wondering if I should start printing stuff.

difficult child 2 logged on! Hahaaaaaaaaa! Soon as he was off, I was logging into his stuff :smile:

Yeah, she messaged him at 4:30 PM yesterday - "where did you go, where are you, why are you in such a hurry to get off the computer?". Ack!

He just pretty much said hi to her, told her he was doing good, really wanted to come home to live with me. Said he missed them, thanked her for the Christmas stuff (she sent Christmas gifts along for him, even though she told ME she took EVERYTHING back LOL!, what the ?!?!?). Appropriate for him.

But all her messages say the same stuff. Wish you wouldn't have left, hope you're happy but you didn't have to go, etc, etc.

I'm going to print her pages out. You're right kris. Because in the end, if and when this stuff blows up in someones face, it's going to be a big he said/she said match. I need docs. Thanks! And tell Jarrod thanks, too :smile:

Linda, I didn't think fosters made a whole lot of money. Something interesting (and not really anything to do with this particular story) I found out from difficult child 2 - he told me the other weekend when he was here that Mrs. K was submitting receipts for clothing (apparantley she has to submit copies of everything she was buying for difficult child 2). Well the receipts for the clothing she was submitting were for pants, a mans size 38/32!!!!!!!!!! difficult child 2, at best, is a 32/32 - in a TIGHT FITTING pant. Her OLDEST boy is a 38/32, and I guess she was using his pants receipts and claiming they were difficult child's :wildone: Oops! Maybe it is a money thing? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm is right, lady.

 

[OTE]

I was a foster parent and this is out of control. It is not appropriate for a foster parent to try to contact a former foster kid through outside means/ directly. If contact is to continue it is agreed upon before the child leaves in the transition process. The means of communication is agreed upon at that time. But when the child is moving to another environment there is always a period of time of no communication to allow the child to settle into the new environment. This is just NOT in the child's best interest and thus is just NOT at all appropriate. If you have not directly asked her to back off and go through a SW or therapist I would do so. Verbally the first time and then in writing. If she continues then I'd contact her case mgr/ agency and report her.

 

[Suz]

I agree that this is unprofessional and her actions need to stop. Like everything else there are bad apples.

Just please, please let's not perpetuate the myth that foster parents do it for the money. My last job was working with foster parents across the state and I was a foster parent myself. I didn't know anyone who wasn't dipping into their own finances every month because the subsidies weren't sufficient. There are no profits to be made as a foster parent.

Suz

 

[DammitJanet]

This is getting more and more bizarre. I agree with OTE to tell her to back off but I would also keep a close watch on his myspace because I would be pretty certain she would appear as someone else. If that happens I would contact myspace and sic them on her.

 

[DazedandConfused]

I don't have any experience with FPs, or the Foster care system, but this sounds very bizarre to me. Especially contacting through MySpace.

 

[BusynMember]

Janna, it is made very clear when you foster that THIS IS NOT YOUR SON!!!! I find her behavior on the unstable side, and that's putting it mildly. Print out anything she's done. It's blatantly illegal to post the picture of a minor foster child! What is WITH her? If only to spare other kids from going into the care of this befuddled woman, please turn her in. I find it eerie that the fosters wanted you to let them adopt your son through private means. I assume that means a lawyer and it sounds like they wanted Legal Guardianship, but, like you said, the husband sure changed his tune fast. And why did they want to do it on the sneak? (BIG RED FLAG). They are NOT on the same page with fostering, and foster parents are not more equipped to care for kids nor are they less apt to be unstable than your next door neighbor. Maybe she does this to a lot of kids who leave her house, and it can mess with the kids. PLEASE show even your hated social worker a printout of what she has done. in my opinion her license should be removed. Trying to contact him on MySpace is beyond bizarre. I'm glad you didn't agree to it; they sound very strange and their marriage doesn't sound too hot either. Some people foster as a need to be wanted. Well, sounds like Ms. K. fits the bill.

 

[SRL]

Janna, once you get a game plan in mind you might want to request deletion of this thread. Mr & Mrs. K could just as easily be reading what you and others are saying about them as you are reading the MySpace info.