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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 749039" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I am in a bit of a quandary actually. I love my grands with all my heart. The reality is these kids are extremely troubled, raised in domestic violence, now teens, the two boys at each other’s throats constantly. Can’t play a card game without fighting. I get it, it is all they know, drama and chaos. Am I equipped to take this on? I have called CWS, I will get no help from them, due to the fact that “they are not in danger because they are with you now.” Whaaaaaat? I was told the next step would be to go to court for guardianship. The kicker is, the eldest, soon to be 15 is going to be a <em>father</em> in four months. Yup, ex girlfriend, two years older, refused to use protection (according to grandson) and is pregnant.</p><p><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite9" alt=":eek:" title="Eek! :eek:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":eek:" /></p><p>This brings on questions about legalities with guardianship because under state law, the parents of minor teen parents are responsible for the baby’s needs and care. Gulp. So, if I become guardian, does that mean me?</p><p>I can’t take this responsibility on without guardianship because of my income. With guardianship at least I could get help with resources from the state. Not to mention that without it, I have no legal say over these kids. Their parents could rightfully come and take them. But also, as a guardian, I would be responsible for whatever comes down the pipe with my grands. With the eldest having such anger issues and being 6 feet tall, how am I going to rein him in, if he goes off the rails?</p><p>What a mess.</p><p>The GPS on the other side have not returned my calls. They have the kids birth certificates and social security info. They did not tell me of the pregnancy dilemma and as far as I know, nobody is talking about it. I don’t know how they feel about the grands staying with me, if they are angry that I would consider having them here, or if they have literally dumped them at my doorstep?</p><p>The agencies I have called have told me they can’t help until I am a legal guardian. That will take some time. I am in contact with volunteer legal services and will be able to get legal advice for free (45 minute session).</p><p>Meantime, I am biting the bullet, trying to get a routine going, keep the peace between the two angry warring brothers, stop them from constantly picking on their sister, who has virtually been their slave at the other house. So much for fun, my friends.</p><p>Did I mention that they are all completely addicted to their phones? How the heck do you get a kid to read a book nowadays?</p><p>Calgon take me away!</p><p> Hi Albie! So nice to "see" you! I think at this point I am flying a kite in a hurricane. One day at a time.</p><p>I hear you HMB. It seems to be the case with both of these "parents", the excuse being that they had their kids too young. Sigh.</p><p></p><p>GULP, mine, too. A gallon of milk gone in a day and a half.</p><p></p><p> Me neither, HMB. What choice do I have? I guess I should not be puzzled that the other grandparents are silent, they have not communicated much with me through the years. </p><p>This is not going to be easy, that's for sure.</p><p>sigh.</p><p>Thanks for your replies and for reading along.</p><p>Lord help us all.</p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 749039, member: 19522"] I am in a bit of a quandary actually. I love my grands with all my heart. The reality is these kids are extremely troubled, raised in domestic violence, now teens, the two boys at each other’s throats constantly. Can’t play a card game without fighting. I get it, it is all they know, drama and chaos. Am I equipped to take this on? I have called CWS, I will get no help from them, due to the fact that “they are not in danger because they are with you now.” Whaaaaaat? I was told the next step would be to go to court for guardianship. The kicker is, the eldest, soon to be 15 is going to be a [I]father[/I] in four months. Yup, ex girlfriend, two years older, refused to use protection (according to grandson) and is pregnant. :eek: This brings on questions about legalities with guardianship because under state law, the parents of minor teen parents are responsible for the baby’s needs and care. Gulp. So, if I become guardian, does that mean me? I can’t take this responsibility on without guardianship because of my income. With guardianship at least I could get help with resources from the state. Not to mention that without it, I have no legal say over these kids. Their parents could rightfully come and take them. But also, as a guardian, I would be responsible for whatever comes down the pipe with my grands. With the eldest having such anger issues and being 6 feet tall, how am I going to rein him in, if he goes off the rails? What a mess. The GPS on the other side have not returned my calls. They have the kids birth certificates and social security info. They did not tell me of the pregnancy dilemma and as far as I know, nobody is talking about it. I don’t know how they feel about the grands staying with me, if they are angry that I would consider having them here, or if they have literally dumped them at my doorstep? The agencies I have called have told me they can’t help until I am a legal guardian. That will take some time. I am in contact with volunteer legal services and will be able to get legal advice for free (45 minute session). Meantime, I am biting the bullet, trying to get a routine going, keep the peace between the two angry warring brothers, stop them from constantly picking on their sister, who has virtually been their slave at the other house. So much for fun, my friends. Did I mention that they are all completely addicted to their phones? How the heck do you get a kid to read a book nowadays? Calgon take me away! Hi Albie! So nice to "see" you! I think at this point I am flying a kite in a hurricane. One day at a time. I hear you HMB. It seems to be the case with both of these "parents", the excuse being that they had their kids too young. Sigh. GULP, mine, too. A gallon of milk gone in a day and a half. Me neither, HMB. What choice do I have? I guess I should not be puzzled that the other grandparents are silent, they have not communicated much with me through the years. This is not going to be easy, that's for sure. sigh. Thanks for your replies and for reading along. Lord help us all. (((HUGS))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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