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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 762273" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am not here as often as I used to be. I just read your posts today. I am so sorry that you have to live this struggle. Please, I beg you, give yourself a break. You did not cause your daughter to be this way. Some people are just born that way. You have always done the best you can for her. I know, for a fact, that you never once woke up and asked yourself "How can I screw up my kid the most today?". That question never occurred to you. You did the best you could for her. When you knew more, you did things differently. It is crystal clear how much you love her and how much you would do for her if you could and it would actually help her. It just shows every time you write about her. Cut yourself a break because you deserve one. Sure, you were not perfect, but nobody is. Even the parenting experts have bad days and do things they wish they hadn't done. </p><p></p><p>Let her manage her life. If she has a child, well, she is an adult and that is a choice she can make. It doesn't seem like a good choice, but hopefully those around her and her child will help her with resources. I know it is hard, but you have to let her go. Nothing you do is helping because her problems are so complex and there are so many emotions involved that you are not qualified to help her. I know that is hard to hear and realize. She needs to get to a place where she wants to change before anything will actually change. All you can do is try to keep an eye on her child and report her if the child needs help. Sadly, her child's birth won't be a joyous occasion for you. That isn't your fault. </p><p></p><p>You might consider seeing a psychologist. If for no other reason that to get a more in-depth understanding of her disorders. I don't know if she is a substance abuser or not. It isn't uncommon, which is why I mention it. Not only will therapy help you cope better and be more comfortable, it may even help you understand her a little better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 762273, member: 1233"] I am not here as often as I used to be. I just read your posts today. I am so sorry that you have to live this struggle. Please, I beg you, give yourself a break. You did not cause your daughter to be this way. Some people are just born that way. You have always done the best you can for her. I know, for a fact, that you never once woke up and asked yourself "How can I screw up my kid the most today?". That question never occurred to you. You did the best you could for her. When you knew more, you did things differently. It is crystal clear how much you love her and how much you would do for her if you could and it would actually help her. It just shows every time you write about her. Cut yourself a break because you deserve one. Sure, you were not perfect, but nobody is. Even the parenting experts have bad days and do things they wish they hadn't done. Let her manage her life. If she has a child, well, she is an adult and that is a choice she can make. It doesn't seem like a good choice, but hopefully those around her and her child will help her with resources. I know it is hard, but you have to let her go. Nothing you do is helping because her problems are so complex and there are so many emotions involved that you are not qualified to help her. I know that is hard to hear and realize. She needs to get to a place where she wants to change before anything will actually change. All you can do is try to keep an eye on her child and report her if the child needs help. Sadly, her child's birth won't be a joyous occasion for you. That isn't your fault. You might consider seeing a psychologist. If for no other reason that to get a more in-depth understanding of her disorders. I don't know if she is a substance abuser or not. It isn't uncommon, which is why I mention it. Not only will therapy help you cope better and be more comfortable, it may even help you understand her a little better. [/QUOTE]
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