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Trying to back off, mostly succeeding
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<blockquote data-quote="Ann1010" data-source="post: 752745" data-attributes="member: 24229"><p>Hi all, sorry life got busy and I do appreciate all the advice everyone gives. Sometimes it just helps to type it out and let it go.</p><p></p><p>I sit here with tears in my eyes because we had an incident yesterday. My birthday was last week and I wanted to go to a particular Chinese buffet for lunch on Sunday. I feel like I need to "prep" Jordan for going out....so that she comes home from her boyfriend's, so that she doesn't forget, whatever the reason. I'm pretty sure she came home at 7am, so she was probably up all night....that should have been the first warning. </p><p></p><p>She did get up and was ready to go when we were, which is pretty surprising. We get to the restaurant, she puts 2 pieces of chicken on her plate, takes one bite and says she's done. I just looked at her in shock and the only thing that went through my head was..."you couldn't have just said you didn't want to go?". My husband asked if she was ok, if she wanted some tea, if her stomach was upset, etc. He was concerned/giving playful banter because things had been going VERY WELL for weeks. Looking back on it, I guess she gave some "warnings" she was going to melt down. She kept saying to him that she wasn't hungry, so stop asking. Being Dad, he was trying to make sure she was ok. She finally said, "I'm not hungry and why do you have to talk so loud and make me look like an <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> in front of everyone?" That pretty much ended lunch. I should have known it wasn't going to end there.</p><p></p><p>On the drive home, my husband and I were talking and Jordan makes a small rude comment. My husband calls her out, and she loses it...how he can't just stop when she asks him to, to which he responds "I didn't even comment when it cost me $10.50 for you to not eat...I just let it go". And then she yells "Well F$#k You". Then it went into the normal, it wasn't my fault, I didn't do anything, you keep coming at me, leave me alone, you can never let me feel good about myself....etc. </p><p></p><p>I told myself that I wouldn't let my guard down...that we were in a "honeymoon" period and that our issues were not behind us. We really should be able to read her moods better, by now. Why did it take me by surprise, just because it was my birthday and I should be able to expect her to be personable for at least one day? Why does it set off my anxiety and make me not sleep for at least a day? Every time this happens it takes days, weeks, etc for the 3 of us to stop feeling like she's going to explode. </p><p></p><p>I really appreciate this place to be able to vent and get things off my chest.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ann1010, post: 752745, member: 24229"] Hi all, sorry life got busy and I do appreciate all the advice everyone gives. Sometimes it just helps to type it out and let it go. I sit here with tears in my eyes because we had an incident yesterday. My birthday was last week and I wanted to go to a particular Chinese buffet for lunch on Sunday. I feel like I need to "prep" Jordan for going out....so that she comes home from her boyfriend's, so that she doesn't forget, whatever the reason. I'm pretty sure she came home at 7am, so she was probably up all night....that should have been the first warning. She did get up and was ready to go when we were, which is pretty surprising. We get to the restaurant, she puts 2 pieces of chicken on her plate, takes one bite and says she's done. I just looked at her in shock and the only thing that went through my head was..."you couldn't have just said you didn't want to go?". My husband asked if she was ok, if she wanted some tea, if her stomach was upset, etc. He was concerned/giving playful banter because things had been going VERY WELL for weeks. Looking back on it, I guess she gave some "warnings" she was going to melt down. She kept saying to him that she wasn't hungry, so stop asking. Being Dad, he was trying to make sure she was ok. She finally said, "I'm not hungry and why do you have to talk so loud and make me look like an :censored2: in front of everyone?" That pretty much ended lunch. I should have known it wasn't going to end there. On the drive home, my husband and I were talking and Jordan makes a small rude comment. My husband calls her out, and she loses it...how he can't just stop when she asks him to, to which he responds "I didn't even comment when it cost me $10.50 for you to not eat...I just let it go". And then she yells "Well F$#k You". Then it went into the normal, it wasn't my fault, I didn't do anything, you keep coming at me, leave me alone, you can never let me feel good about myself....etc. I told myself that I wouldn't let my guard down...that we were in a "honeymoon" period and that our issues were not behind us. We really should be able to read her moods better, by now. Why did it take me by surprise, just because it was my birthday and I should be able to expect her to be personable for at least one day? Why does it set off my anxiety and make me not sleep for at least a day? Every time this happens it takes days, weeks, etc for the 3 of us to stop feeling like she's going to explode. I really appreciate this place to be able to vent and get things off my chest. [/QUOTE]
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