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Trying to Detach...again
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 747330" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>I have had various periods of no contact with my daughter lasting as much as 3 or 4 months. This was years ago, and it actually did me some good. It forced me to work on myself and my issues, find ways to enhance my life and realize my life is MY life regardless of what my daughter does or does not do. I sort of had a jump start doing it because I previously had a very chaotic relationship with my parents and was in therapy over that. My counselor said my goal needed to be to get me to a place where I am fine whether my parents are in my life or not. I worked hard to develop trust and belief in myself and I had no contact with my parents for around 3 years. And I was fine. So I knew I had to approach my relationship with my daughter in the same way. It is not easy and I had plenty of days and nights of crying and worry- especially about my granddaughter. But it forced me to focus on myself and I am better off for it. I know it's difficult, but sometimes you need a break. It can help both of you and make your relationship better in the long run. I have a very good relationship with my parents now. It's not my ideal, but I had to come to terms with their limitations and decide if I wanted the relationship we could have. I've come so far that even my parents can rarely push my buttons anymore. Sending you peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 747330, member: 11235"] I have had various periods of no contact with my daughter lasting as much as 3 or 4 months. This was years ago, and it actually did me some good. It forced me to work on myself and my issues, find ways to enhance my life and realize my life is MY life regardless of what my daughter does or does not do. I sort of had a jump start doing it because I previously had a very chaotic relationship with my parents and was in therapy over that. My counselor said my goal needed to be to get me to a place where I am fine whether my parents are in my life or not. I worked hard to develop trust and belief in myself and I had no contact with my parents for around 3 years. And I was fine. So I knew I had to approach my relationship with my daughter in the same way. It is not easy and I had plenty of days and nights of crying and worry- especially about my granddaughter. But it forced me to focus on myself and I am better off for it. I know it's difficult, but sometimes you need a break. It can help both of you and make your relationship better in the long run. I have a very good relationship with my parents now. It's not my ideal, but I had to come to terms with their limitations and decide if I wanted the relationship we could have. I've come so far that even my parents can rarely push my buttons anymore. Sending you peace. [/QUOTE]
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