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Trying to hold it together
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 754471" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Beta, While it must be hard to think of this physical distance with your son, it is good to know that he has a plan for his life journey. It’s a good reason for you and hubs to get away for a visit? My Rain is on the streets with her extremely violent boyfriend, Tornado is in jail, and unfortunately sounding the same. I have had two phone calls from her, both which did not end well. She still blames me for the everything, in between “ thanks for taking care of my kids” which I guess I will focus on that.</p><p>I am sorry that Josh is bitter. It is hard when our kids throw their anger at us, I know for me, it sends me down memory lane wishing that I had done this or that differently. We can’t change the past or even begin to know what goes on in their minds. It is painful and I feel for all of us who have endured this harsh reality. Especially during holiday times when we envision the Norman Rockwell dinner.</p><p>Well.</p><p>We shall just have to create our own fabulous imagery with what we have.</p><p>Lots and lots of prayer.</p><p>Focusing on the good in our lives.</p><p>Start a new tradition.</p><p>Walk, sing, paint, do a super power clean before the New Year. (Talking to myself here)</p><p>Continue to build up our armor for the next fallout. It’s constant training our hearts and minds to live our lives fully, despite come what may with our waywards. There will be times when we falter, who wouldn’t? Forgive ourselves for that, then pick ourselves up and trudge onward, upward. I have come to look at this as a learning curve, what is life trying to teach me? That is the only way I have been able to survive the heartache of it. What do I need to do to overcome the sadness?</p><p>You sound strong Beta and resolved to live your best life. You gave your sons your all in raising them. The rest is up to them to draw from their past and to create their own adult lives. It is their picture to paint. Their journey.</p><p>We have our own to complete. I am praying for both of us, all of us to let go and let God.</p><p>It is a blessed new day.</p><p>God bless and Merry Christmas!</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>New Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 754471, member: 19522"] Hi Beta, While it must be hard to think of this physical distance with your son, it is good to know that he has a plan for his life journey. It’s a good reason for you and hubs to get away for a visit? My Rain is on the streets with her extremely violent boyfriend, Tornado is in jail, and unfortunately sounding the same. I have had two phone calls from her, both which did not end well. She still blames me for the everything, in between “ thanks for taking care of my kids” which I guess I will focus on that. I am sorry that Josh is bitter. It is hard when our kids throw their anger at us, I know for me, it sends me down memory lane wishing that I had done this or that differently. We can’t change the past or even begin to know what goes on in their minds. It is painful and I feel for all of us who have endured this harsh reality. Especially during holiday times when we envision the Norman Rockwell dinner. Well. We shall just have to create our own fabulous imagery with what we have. Lots and lots of prayer. Focusing on the good in our lives. Start a new tradition. Walk, sing, paint, do a super power clean before the New Year. (Talking to myself here) Continue to build up our armor for the next fallout. It’s constant training our hearts and minds to live our lives fully, despite come what may with our waywards. There will be times when we falter, who wouldn’t? Forgive ourselves for that, then pick ourselves up and trudge onward, upward. I have come to look at this as a learning curve, what is life trying to teach me? That is the only way I have been able to survive the heartache of it. What do I need to do to overcome the sadness? You sound strong Beta and resolved to live your best life. You gave your sons your all in raising them. The rest is up to them to draw from their past and to create their own adult lives. It is their picture to paint. Their journey. We have our own to complete. I am praying for both of us, all of us to let go and let God. It is a blessed new day. God bless and Merry Christmas! (((Hugs))) New Leaf [/QUOTE]
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