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Unsettled Feeling
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<blockquote data-quote="JMom" data-source="post: 754998" data-attributes="member: 19892"><p>Overwhelmed,</p><p></p><p>Look sis, you are <strong><u>NOT</u></strong> a punching bag! </p><p></p><p>Take that cash and send ALL of THEM on a must deserved vacation. Then move their sh@t out of YOUR house. Send them to visit your daughter. Change the locks and go on vacay. OK, I'm done ranting. I know that is not realistic and not sure I could pull that off myself. I just like to fantasize for two seconds a day. What would YOUR life look like without providing for them? What would their life be without you?</p><p></p><p>At some point you won't be there to provide for them. I think it would be a gift to them to let them all fend for themselves. They might as well learn it now as no one is going to help them when you are unable to. If you can afford to pay their bills perhaps you can set them up in their own apartment for one month and let them make a way for themselves. I enabled for a VERY long time. The day I decided to detach, I ate, slept, bathed and did other normal stuff, it felt good. Please take baby steps. You can do this, we are with you!!!!!!!!</p><p></p><p>I can not wait until you start living for YOU. I am going to be your biggest fan. You do not have to accept their abuse. I encourage you to read "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beatty. I'll purchase it for you. It helped me detach with love from my brother. He's 50 and lives with my mom off and on, mostly on.</p><p></p><p>Ugh. I want to hugz you. I want to spank your kids. lol. Is is safe for you to detach? I mean will they react in an unsafe manner?</p><p></p><p>HUGS</p><p>Jmom</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JMom, post: 754998, member: 19892"] Overwhelmed, Look sis, you are [B][U]NOT[/U][/B] a punching bag! Take that cash and send ALL of THEM on a must deserved vacation. Then move their sh@t out of YOUR house. Send them to visit your daughter. Change the locks and go on vacay. OK, I'm done ranting. I know that is not realistic and not sure I could pull that off myself. I just like to fantasize for two seconds a day. What would YOUR life look like without providing for them? What would their life be without you? At some point you won't be there to provide for them. I think it would be a gift to them to let them all fend for themselves. They might as well learn it now as no one is going to help them when you are unable to. If you can afford to pay their bills perhaps you can set them up in their own apartment for one month and let them make a way for themselves. I enabled for a VERY long time. The day I decided to detach, I ate, slept, bathed and did other normal stuff, it felt good. Please take baby steps. You can do this, we are with you!!!!!!!! I can not wait until you start living for YOU. I am going to be your biggest fan. You do not have to accept their abuse. I encourage you to read "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beatty. I'll purchase it for you. It helped me detach with love from my brother. He's 50 and lives with my mom off and on, mostly on. Ugh. I want to hugz you. I want to spank your kids. lol. Is is safe for you to detach? I mean will they react in an unsafe manner? HUGS Jmom [/QUOTE]
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