Update:I called the club

[jbrain]

Hi Everyone,
I got brave after reading your responses and called the club E works at. I told the guy who answered that I was E's mom, told him her stage name, told him I was worried since I haven't been able to reach her, etc. He was reticent but did tell me he saw her last week and he promised to give her the message to call.

I was so relieved! I don't know if she'll actually get the message or if she will then call but I feel so much better. I know she is still working and still "there." I don't know why she hasn't called but just knowing she is not missing somewhere is good enough for me. I can get on with worrying about other stuff now

Thanks for your help,
Jane

 

[JJJ]

I'm glad you were able to track down that she is not missing. I hope she gets in touch soon.

 

[Suz]

I know what you mean, Jane. When Rob was in the midst of his really rough times I needed reassurance that he was okay. I'm glad you called and got your reassurance.

Suz

 

[Hound dog]

Jane I know that had to be a huge relief! Hopefully she'll get the message and call soon.

Hugs

 

[jbrain]

Hi Again,
I saw this morning that she left me a text message last night. She said she doesn't have a phone, long story, and that she would call me today to let me know what's going on. So now I feel even more reassured--so nice not to have that particular dark cloud hanging over me!

thanks,
Jane

 

[KTMom91]

What a relief! Hope she calls you soon.

 

[Star*]

One thing I can tell you about working in a club formerly?

ANY personal call that comes in is BIG NEWS -

For whatever reason it makes the bearer of glad tidings somewhat important. I've yet to see a phone message in a bar to a particular person NOT be delivered. lol

Glad you found them - Kisses to my E.

 

[witzend]

Whew! I just breathed a big sigh of relief.

 

[jbrain]

Thanks, Star--your post brought tears to my eyes. You are so kind...
Hugs,
Jane

 

[hearts and roses]

Glad to hear she made contact with you. What a relief~

 

[standswithcourage]

I know how you feel. I havent heard from my "homeless" son since last thursday. I always get anxious but he has no phone either and the people that know him know my phone number. I always picture him comatose somewhere and no one knows it! It is an awful feeling. I hesitate to call all his friends though because I have done that so many times and it only comes back to haunt me. I hope I at least hear that he is ok.

 

[witzend]

Stay strong Susan. Remind yourself that in Jane's situation it was a substantial change in circumstances. Her daughter had been in contact and then suddenly stopped all contact, and there is a small baby involved. It was appropriate for her to check up on her. Your son only contacts you when he wants something, and blames his problems on you when you contact him, so it's just more of the same old, same old. The feelings of wondering if your child is ok are the same, but it wouldn't serve any purpose for your to call him. I imagine that if something really bad happened to your son, his friends know you would want to know and they would either contact you or they would make sure that the information would get back to you.

Jane, did she call you, or is that update in a different post?

 

[jbrain]

Hi Witz,
no, she hasn't called yet but that doesn't worry me since I got the text message. It is common for her to say she will call me "tomorrow" and then actually call a few days later. I'm not worried anymore, I just needed to know that she wasn't "missing." As soon as the guy at the club told me he'd seen her last week I quit worrying.

You are right, it is a different situation than Susan's. I have no idea where she lives, if she is with boyfriend, if she drinks, smokes pot, all that kind of thing, and I am okay with that. I just wanted to be sure someone knew she was alive. I'm going to ask her for an emergency contact number just in case something happens to one of us and she needs to know or if she is out of contact for an extended time then I can make sure she's alive. You are also right--she doesn't ask me for anything, isn't trying to manipulate me or tell me "woe is me" tales so contact with her doesn't involve us in an enmeshment sort of thing. I guess we've come a long way, baby!

Thanks,
Jane

 

[goldenguru]

Good news Jane! Thanks for the update.

 

[standswithcourage]

That is good Jane. I - too - would like to know if my son is alive. I know the situations are different but something could happen to him and I wonder if anyone
would know.

 

[rejectedmom]

Jane, I'm glad you heard from your daughter.

I also understand the worry when your difficult child is MI. -RM