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<blockquote data-quote="MissLulu" data-source="post: 758391" data-attributes="member: 24721"><p>Dear Trying, I am reaching out across the miles to give you a virtual hug.</p><p></p><p>This is hard. So, so hard.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I want you to know that at times, I feel like this too. You are not alone. I hate that I feel this way, but sometimes I wish that it could all just be over - one way or another.</p><p></p><p>You and I (like all of us here) love our children and we want what's best for them, but they are adults and we have no control over what they do. You are right to set boundaries in your home to protect yourself and your husband. Is it possible for you to go one step further and set boundaries around contact? Because no matter what you do, you can't control the outcome for this adult child of yours. None of us can, no matter how much we wish otherwise.</p><p></p><p>In my opinion, it's time to step away and to focus more on you and less on your son. This is hard (believe me, I understand) but in the end it is the only way forward. Keep posting, Trying. When I am at my lowest I find comfort in posting here. I also find comfort in reading the posts of others. It eases my worries to see stories like RN's - where the outcome has been so positive. But I'm equally soothed by the stories of those parents whose children have not changed, but the parent has learned to detach and live their life without all the chaos.</p><p></p><p>Please keep reaching out Trying. We can get through this together.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MissLulu, post: 758391, member: 24721"] Dear Trying, I am reaching out across the miles to give you a virtual hug. This is hard. So, so hard. I want you to know that at times, I feel like this too. You are not alone. I hate that I feel this way, but sometimes I wish that it could all just be over - one way or another. You and I (like all of us here) love our children and we want what's best for them, but they are adults and we have no control over what they do. You are right to set boundaries in your home to protect yourself and your husband. Is it possible for you to go one step further and set boundaries around contact? Because no matter what you do, you can't control the outcome for this adult child of yours. None of us can, no matter how much we wish otherwise. In my opinion, it's time to step away and to focus more on you and less on your son. This is hard (believe me, I understand) but in the end it is the only way forward. Keep posting, Trying. When I am at my lowest I find comfort in posting here. I also find comfort in reading the posts of others. It eases my worries to see stories like RN's - where the outcome has been so positive. But I'm equally soothed by the stories of those parents whose children have not changed, but the parent has learned to detach and live their life without all the chaos. Please keep reaching out Trying. We can get through this together. [/QUOTE]
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