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<blockquote data-quote="Nandina" data-source="post: 758454" data-attributes="member: 23742"><p>Hi Trying, I‘m so glad to hear your son made this choice and I pray he is successful. My son has been in rehab about a month, and although we haven’t visited yet, we do plan to. We’ve decided to wait a few months, though, to let him get adjusted and used to the rules and structure of the program. We are about 6 hours away from him in the same state. It’s a 13-month, faith based program.</p><p></p><p>I think this would be a good time for you to put some conditions down for visiting him. If I were you I would definitely wait a while, although not knowing how long the program is, not sure if that’s possible. But with his record of leaving rehabs, you certainly don’t want to spend the money right away for a flight only to have him leave again. So I would tell him that yes, you will come see him, but only after he’s been there “x” weeks or months and is working the program and taking it seriously.</p><p></p><p>Do not allow him to call you and complain or whine about how much he hates being there. A good part of his success will be based on his attitude and a more positive outlook will benefit all of you. I think he needs to get through the difficult beginnings on his own and not rely on you to make it easier for him by being at his beck and call. This will result in growth for him—something he really needs.</p><p></p><p>Show lots of support, write him letters if you can, talk to him if he has the right attitude when he calls. But don't let him make you miserable just because he may be. No more rabbit holes!</p><p></p><p>Best wishes to all of you. Stay strong.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nandina, post: 758454, member: 23742"] Hi Trying, I‘m so glad to hear your son made this choice and I pray he is successful. My son has been in rehab about a month, and although we haven’t visited yet, we do plan to. We’ve decided to wait a few months, though, to let him get adjusted and used to the rules and structure of the program. We are about 6 hours away from him in the same state. It’s a 13-month, faith based program. I think this would be a good time for you to put some conditions down for visiting him. If I were you I would definitely wait a while, although not knowing how long the program is, not sure if that’s possible. But with his record of leaving rehabs, you certainly don’t want to spend the money right away for a flight only to have him leave again. So I would tell him that yes, you will come see him, but only after he’s been there “x” weeks or months and is working the program and taking it seriously. Do not allow him to call you and complain or whine about how much he hates being there. A good part of his success will be based on his attitude and a more positive outlook will benefit all of you. I think he needs to get through the difficult beginnings on his own and not rely on you to make it easier for him by being at his beck and call. This will result in growth for him—something he really needs. Show lots of support, write him letters if you can, talk to him if he has the right attitude when he calls. But don't let him make you miserable just because he may be. No more rabbit holes! Best wishes to all of you. Stay strong. [/QUOTE]
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